Are we this hard up?!

Spoiled little rich bitch heiress and part-time amateur porn star Paris Hilton was a sobbing little bucket of goo yesterday as she was so “heinously” sent back to jail to serve her 7 hour sentence for DUI, instead of being allowed to serve it in her 19,000-square foot estate.

So what?!

Spoiled little rich bitch “actress” (and THAT term is used with a huge tongue in the cheek) Lindsay Lohan is in rehab because she is a drunk and a coke whore.

Who cares?!

Joe and/or Joan Celebrity (Angelina Jolie, Madonna, Sharon Stone, etc.) adopts child(ren) from some unheard-of third-world country (by throwing money at the government instead of following the rules us poor working mopes have to follow) so they can try to jump-start their stalled career by making it appear as though they are “good people”.

Big deal. Wish I had the money to buy kids and then pay someone else to raise them while I’m off at my movie shoots and public appearances and phony humanitarian speeches.