Oxymoron alert

While skimming other local blogs for post ideas to steal, as I typically do, I came across this one from The Eleventh Hour’s blog about local TV news. It referenced this Illinois Times article which spelled out a certain term I have a huge problem accepting.

“Journalistc integrity”. (Your oxymoron alarm should be ringing.)

First of all, I think that term is extremely ironic coming from a rag like Illinois Times. Secondly, under most circumstances, it doesn’t exist.

The media is all about getting the scoop. Period. The facts are unnecessary details, in that if the facts don’t tell a good enough story, or don’t tell the story the reporter/paper/station wants them to tell, they simply change or completely eliminate the facts that stand in their way. It’s all about getting the exclusive before the other guy, and, dare I use this term, sensationalizing the event to get more readers/viewers. The media’s job is to report the news. Nothing more, nothing less. Your opinions of the news should not come into play. There are “conservative” papers and TV/radio stations, there are “liberal” papers and stations. This is stupid. So many papers and stations show their bias so blatantly, it is disgusting. For example, stop turning every local law enforcement story into police corruption and racism. I understand that there is racism on the police force, but to hear the SJ-R tell it, the police in this town should wear white robes and pointed hoods. Every single time the SPD is mentioned, it’s automatically a race issue with the SJ-R. We get it already. You want to preach to me, fine- keep it on your Op-Ed page or your “Point Counterpoint” segment. Otherwise, give me the facts- the accurate facts- alone. It seems almost every day the SJ-R prints corrections on stories they’ve run. Granted, a majority of the corrections are usually misspelled names or incorrectly identified people, but Jesus Christ, guys, take the time and check things before you print them. Even “little” or seemingly “insignificant” errors can theoretically completely shatter reputations and lives. Get it right, douchebags.

The BIG thing for which I have complete and utter contempt for the media as a whole is their “the public has a right to know everything about everybody all the time” credo. This is total bullshit. There actually are some things the public has no need to know (or, no business knowing). Also, there are some things that just aren’t necessary to report. Not to mention that they use “the public” as though they are doing such a noble deed for the good of the people. You (the media) don’t give a shit about “the public”. You care about subscription and viewership, nothing more. Don’t insult me by saying you are serving me. Next time you (”you” being Joe Citizen) get a camera or a microphone shoved in your face during a potentially compromising situation, talk to me about “the public”’s right to know. As long as it’s someone else, it’s okay, right?
Then there is the sensationalism factor. The IT article mentions former WICS anchor Mark Thoma giving up the news based on being sent to cover a fire in which a 3-year-old died, and watching the other news crews “descend on the hysterical, sobbing mother” of the dead child. Good for Mr. Thoma for refusing to cover it. THAT is journalistic integrity, my friends. The media are like piranhas waiting for a cow to step into the river for a drink. I am just salivating for the day when some reporter sticks a microphone and a camera in someone’s face immediately after a traumatic event like that and have the someone just absolutely tee off on them: “What am I feeling right now?! What the fuck do you THINK I am feeling right now? My little boy was just killed in a fire…” followed by a string of obscenity the likes of which would embarrass Andrew Dice Clay. And reporters and photographers can’t seem to understand why they get assaulted, cursed at, spit on, whatever. I have absolutely no affection for celebrities that bitch about being photographed in that they chose to be celebrities (most did, anyway), which means they also chose to be photographed constantly. That being said, I do feel that celebrities also deserve at least some measure of privacy. If they’re at an award show, red-carpet event, media day (duh), or other “job”-related function, then yeah, they are fair game. But if they’re taking in a movie with their spouse as a “private citizen”, or if they’re taking their kids to The Wiggles on Ice, or picking up some pork chops and a toilet brush at the Piggly Wiggly, leave them alone. Hell, even if they’re drunk off their asses out slutting it up at a club “accidentally” showing their vajayjays to the world or whatever because they’re insecure media whores, for example, is that really “newsworthy”? I think not. I don’t really care for celebrities, but any time one of them gets a punch or even a loogy in on a reporter or cameraman, I have absolutely no issue with that.

The term “paparazzi” is used in reference to (mainly) photographers that stalk (mainly famous) people 24/7 to get some sort of “dirt” on them. As far as I’m concerned, almost every last one of them is “paparazzi”. As I said earlier, the facts are unnecessary details. Please check out the lyrics to Don Henley’s “Dirty Laundry” below- the song perfectly illustrates my ramblings. Key points highlighted for your convenience.

I make my living off the evening news
Just give me something-something I can use
People love it when you lose,
They love dirty laundry

Well, I coulda been an actor, but I wound up here
I just have to look good, I don’t have to be clear
Come and whisper in my ear
Give us dirty laundry

Kick em when they’re up, kick em when they’re down
Kick em when they’re up, kick em when they’re down
Kick em when they’re up, kick em when they’re down
Kick em when they’re up, kick em all around

We got the bubble-headed bleach-blonde who comes on at five
She can tell you bout the plane crash with a gleam in her eye
It’s interesting when people die-
Give us dirty laundry

Can we film the operation? Is the head dead yet?
You know, the boys in the newsroom got a running bet
Get the widow on the set!
We need dirty laundry

You don’t really need to find out what’s going on
You don’t really want to know just how far it’s gone
Just leave well enough alone
Eat your dirty laundry

Kick em when they’re up, kick em when they’re down
Kick em when they’re up, kick em when they’re down
Kick em when they’re up, kick em when they’re down
Kick em when they’re stiff, kick em all around

Dirty little secrets, dirty little lies
We got our dirty little fingers in everybody’s pie
We love to cut you down to size
We love dirty laundry

We can do the innuendo, we can dance and sing
When it’s said and done we haven’t told you a thing
We all know that crap is king
Give us dirty laundry!

As with everything, there are always exceptions, but for the most part, the media can kiss my royal Irish ass.