Johann Drops a Blog

Did you all see that game?

I was convinced it would be a massacre.  Patriots 42, Giants 9.  Patriots 38, Giants 0.  Patriots 56, Giants 13.  I was so confident these two teams were so grossly mismatched that the game would be over by about 2:15 left in the first quarter.

I’ve never been more happy to be wrong.

What a great game that was.  Low scoring- which, this time, meant GREAT defense.  New York’s defense pretty well bitch-slapped Mr. Perfect for most of the entire game.  I think he was sacked like 5 times or something like that.   Friggin’ awesome.

I gotta tell you, though:  I pretty much gave up when Mr. Perfect threw that TD pass to Moss.  I thought, there’s plenty of time, but there’s no way Eli will be able to pull this out.

Again, I’ve never been more happy to be wrong.

With a couple amazing passes- and an improbable catch by David Tyree- they get deep into Patriots territory when Eli found a wide, WIDE open Plaxico Burress.  I couldn’t believe it.  I’m not a Giants fan, but I hate the Patriots.  I do respect the Patriots but I hate the Patriots.

For one thing, I hate “dynasties”.  Other than the Montana-Rice 49ers in the 80’s and early 90’s– that’s different.  (These are my rules, folks.)  The Patriots are basically the Yankees of football now.  The only difference is that I respect the Patriots.  At least as of right now, I still respect the Patriots… look, folks, dynasties are boring.  Sure, there are Patriots fans that love dynasties.  But for those of us that don’t work for ESPN, many of us would like to see different teams now and again.  It’s friggin’ boring seeing the same friggin’ teams in the friggin’ playoffs every friggin’ year.  Same with baseball.  And it makes it worse when ESPN anchors sit there on TV jacking off the Yankees and Red Sox for seven months.  Memo to ESPN: there are 30 teams in Major League Baseball, guys.  I’m surprised ESPN hasn’t petitioned Selig to move one of the teams to the National League so they can have their monster-orgasm-producing Yankees-Red Sox World Series.  Hell, even in the NBA (which I haven’t watched in well over a decade, but for different reasons)… when the Bulls won their first championship in ‘91, I thought it was awesome.  Michael finally got a ring.  Then he wins three in a row and it’s like, okay- enough already.  Then they turn around and win three more two years later.  Yawn.  Dynasties… are… boring.

I do respect the Patriots, however (other than signing Randy Moss) in that they don’t necessarily go looking for the most talented players to sign, trade for, or draft.  They look for the guys that will fit in their system and will play the role the Patriots want them to play.  Guys like Bruschi and Kevin Faulk and Rodney Harrison.  Other than Mr. Perfect, the Patriots don’t have any real bona fide “superstars” (Randy Moss anointed himself a superstar back when he was in Minnesota) so they have a lot less of the baggage that comes with guys like Terrell Owens, Michael Vick, Chad Johnson, jagoffs like that.  No, I respect the Patriots, if for no other reason than the fact that, for the most part, they don’t look for the “best” guys so much as they look for the “right” guys.  That being said…

I was thrilled that New England didn’t go 19-0 since that’s what everyone wanted.  Sure, going undefeated in a 16-game season is extremely impressive, but every week after they beat the Colts in the regular season, I’ve been dying for someone to knock them off.  The Giants finally did it when it mattered most.

Eli Manning was a very deserving MVP, but on the other hand, I think everyone else got slighted.  The entire defense should have gotten an MVP award for the way they were all over Mr. Perfect.  Burress came through big finally after being a non-factor all game long, Tyree had a couple key catches, even Kevin Boss (heir apparent to Jeremy Shockey) had a very timely catch on that final drive.  A team MVP award (or 53 individual awards) could not have been argued by anyone.

It was great to see the Patriots get knocked off of their pedestal– and hard, too.  It was great to see Eli finally step out of Peyton’s shadow.  It was great to see such an exciting Super Bowl.  Not sure which finish was better, this game or the finish of the Rams-Titans SB in 2000, but it was a great, great game.  Way beyond most people’s expectations- certainly far beyond mine.  That’s the way football games, especially the Super Bowl, should go.

Sorry, Patriots fans.  hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee…

Or at least not a fan of their representative NFL franchise. So sue me.

Okay, so the New England Patriots went 16-0 this season. Good for them, hasn’t been done since the ‘72 Dolphins, blah blah blah blah blah, whoop-dee-shit. Can we please move on? Their bandwagon seems to be pretty well loaded down, what with carrying the entire staff of ESPN and all for so many years now, especially since they got to about 7-0 this season, and the “will they or won’t they” story line was about all that ESPN could or would talk about. Then once they beat the Colts in Week 9, the ESPN anchors continued their Patriot lovefest by pretty much anointing them at that time as Most Likely To Finish Undefeated.

All right– a little side note here- what is with the mancrush everyone seems to have on Tom Brady? He is NOT that good looking, people. There are far better looking guys in the NFL to have mancrushes on than Tom Brady.

Anyway…

Now don’t get me wrong- they’re obviously a very good team with a great nucleus of players, many of whom have been with them for a while now. The addition of Randy Moss, despise him as I do, was huge for Moss, for Brady, and for the entire team. I still say the guy’s an asshole, but I’ll give credit where it is due. He’s apparently finally learned how to act like a team player (and a friggin’ adult for that matter) somewhere along the way, and he’s finally starting to be able to let his talent speak for him rather than the idiotic things he says and does, on and off the field. But then, don’t get me started on that tangent.

Thing is, the Patriots really aren’t 16-0 good. They’re good enough that they’ll probably wind up winning the damn Super Bowl- again- but they’re not as good as 16-0 suggests. There’s an old saying that goes,”Sometimes it’s better to be lucky than good”. That certainly sums up the Patriots at times this season.

• Week 1 @ NYJ- 38-14. Not exactly a fair fight. Kind of like Shaq vs. Muggsy Bogues in a dunk contest. Of course, this was the “infamous” Spy-Gate game where the Patriots got caught filming the Jets’ bench. As if they needed to. Just goes to show that the Patriots are not only good, they’re also dumbasses.
• Week 2 vs. SD: 38-14. Much better team than the Jets, but again, not in the Patriots’ league, so to speak.
• Week 3 vs. BUF: 38-7. Pretty much like playing the All-Girls School for the Blind.
• Week 4 at CIN: 34-13. The Bengals should have been a lot better than what they were this year, but they didn’t give much of a struggle either.
• Week 5 vs. CLE: 34-17. The Browns actually are a pretty darned good football team. They ultimately wound up missing the playoffs due to Tennessee beating the Colts last night, but at any rate, this was the first even remotely “good” team New England faced this year, and it still wasn’t much of a game.
• Week 6 at DAL: 48-27. I have to say, I was torn on this game. I don’t like the Patriots, but I don’t like the Cowboys more. Plus, the Cowboys have Terrell Owens, and he is a cancer to the sport, so I can’t support him or any team he plays for. This game was [over]hyped as the Battle of the Juggernauts of their respective conferences, but again, not much of a contest.
• Week 7 at MIA: 49-28. Come on- it’s the Dolphins. Snoop-Dogg’s kid’s team probably would have a better shot of beating the Patriots.
• Week 8 vs. WAS: 52-7. People bitched and whined about this game because Belichick was “running up the score” by leaving Brady and his stud receivers in the game for so long. Hey- the Redskins LET them run up the score, so why shouldn’t they? My brother even went so far as to say that “good taste would dictate taking your stars out”, which made me laugh my ass off. Since when does good taste have or ever have had ANY place in professional sports? The Patriots just simply dominated the other team, who allowed it to happen.
• Week 9 at IND: 24-20. This was THE [over]hyped game of all [over]hyped games. The 8-0 Patriots vs. the 7-0 Colts, in what many were calling the “Super Bowl”, as in whoever won this game will win the Super Bowl 3 months later. Well, the Patriots still prevailed somehow- barely, and they should have lost- but once they finally faced a good team, they showed the world that they’re fallible. Psssst- Tom… Peyton’s better than you.
• Week 10 BYE. The riders of the Patriots Love Train had to suffer through the bye week by sitting in their beanbag chairs with their bag of Cheetos, staring longingly at their Tom Brady Fathead graphics. ‘Nuff said.
• Week 11 at BUF: 56-10. All right, that’s just wrong.
• Week 12 vs. PHI: 31-28. Ooooh, big time scare from Donovan McNabb and company. They were down 28-24 about halfway through the 4th quarter, scored to make it 31-28, then a couple of late interceptions sealed the deal, but they skated out of there by the skin o’ their teeth. Stupid Eagles. Nothing like snatching defeat out of the jaws of victory.
• Week 13 at BAL 27-24. The Patriots did not win this game- Baltimore lost it. A stupid, STUPID timeout call from the Ravens bench and a still, in my mind, questionable Brady-to-Gaffney TD pass with 44 seconds left sealed the Raven’s fate in this game, one of a few that demonstrated my “better to be lucky than good” argument.
• Week 14 vs. PIT: 34-14. The Steelers just played like shit. Period. Plus it didn’t really help that Steelers safety Anthony Smith guaranteed a victory. Haven’t you idiots learned by now that Joe Namath got lucky?
• Week 15 vs. NYJ: 20-10. The Patriots seemed to be off their game, pardon the cheesy cliché, but it was against the Jets, so like it really mattered.
• Week 16 vs. MIA: 28-7. Again, not like it’s a real opponent. Big deal.
• Week 17 vs. NYG: 38-35. Yet another game where the other team lost the game as opposed to the Patriots winning it.

But folks, look at that schedule- granted, they did win every game, but they only played 4 playoff-caliber teams (5, if you count Cleveland who just barely missed the playoffs). They’re in a super-weak division (the Bills, the Jets, and the Dolphins- please!). I guess when you are the “Chosen” team, you can get by with a cupcake schedule. Yeah, they went 16-0 and they are the clear favorite to sweep the playoffs and win the Super Bowl. Good for them. But they have now joined the Cowboys as the Yankees and Red Sox of the NFL.

As in, teams that one should never root for ever, genius. EVER.

Apparently I’m the only football fan that doesn’t like seeing the same team win every single freakin’ year. I hate dynasties. Absolutely de-SPISE them. (Other than the Montana-Rice-Young 49ers of the 80’s and early 90’s, but that’s different. Why? Because I said it’s different. Bite me.) The Patriots are the Arnold Schwarzenegger movie of the NFL. What I mean by that is, their opponents are so unfairly matched against them that you can’t help but root against them (the Patriots; Arnold’s character), even though you know the ultimate outcome. Oh come on- like I was the only one that started wanting the Predator to kick Arnold’s ass after a while.

Anyway, yeah, the Patriots are a good team, but they haven’t really played many good teams either. Maybe it IS true- maybe they are just that much better than everyone else. But I refuse to admit to that, especially looking at that lace doily of a schedule. They still have three games to win, and if someone can somehow put on a pair and knock the Patriots off, they’ll be done, which would make it that much better. If you’re going to beat the big guys, make it count.

So have a Happy (and prosperous and safe) New Year, everyone, and those of you out there who are University of Chief Illinwek fans, look at it this way- they made the Rose Bowl. That’s a huge accomplishment far and above what pretty much anyone thought they could do. But they’re going to get sodomized tomorrow. Bad. But then, is there a “good” way of getting sodomized?

Happy New Year everyone! See you in 2008!

I love baseball.  Always have.  I haven’t always been real pleased with some of the happenings (the strike in ‘94, the apparently now required retaliatory beanballs, that whole steroid thing…) but on the whole, I love baseball.

However, it’s now football season!  Time to shift gears!  The season technically kicked off (pardon the bad pun) this past Thursday, with the World Champion Colts soundly thrashing the Saints, but games on Thursdays just don’t “count” to me.  The NFL is a Sunday afternoon and Monday night entity, as far as I’m concerned.  I’m not even 100% enamored with the weekly Sunday prime-time games.  The NFL is just meant to be watched prone on the couch and grazing on Sunday afternoons and Monday nights.  (duh-duh-duh-DUUHHHHHHH)  I just don’t like the idea of Thursday games, other than Thanksgiving, when we get to watch the Lions get brutalized every year and then watch the Dallas Felons Cowboys.  Gotta have something to watch when you’re miserable from having engorged yourself with turkey, oyster stuffing, cranberry sauce… mashed potatoes… mmmmmmm…

Anyway, kickoff for Week 1 of the 2007 season is about 30 minutes away and I am absolutely ready for some football!   Not to mention that my fantasy football league is finally getting going again, and I’m ready for another year of being soundly thrashed from pillar to post.

Are YOU ready for some football?!

According to the Worldwide Leader™, Michael Vick will plead guilty to federal dogfighting charges next Monday the 27th.

Since he is a celebrity and has lots of money–some of which he made from said dogfighting–he’ll likely wind up with not much more than a slap on the wrist compared to what Joe Citizen would get in the same situation. Even so, it’s a great day for justice. I’m not a tree-hugging Save the Whales Greenpeace extremist whack job by any means, but dogfighting is about the most heinous crime that can be perpetrated against an animal. Myself, I’m not into cats, but I would NEVER even for a split second consider exacting any sort of torture on cats even remotely like what Vick and his fellow thugs did to those dogs.

And of course, the racism card has been dangled out there already. ESPN is currently trying to spin it that the blacks in Atlanta support Vick and the whites detest him. Boy, that’s original. Creating racism where there is none- THAT’S never happened before. It’s not a race thing, people; it’s common decency. Whether you’re black, white, or titty pink, if you support Michael Vick (especially now) or dogfighting in general, you’re scum. Plain and simple. It’s right vs. wrong.

People say that “they” are trying to make an example of Vick. Big deal. Look at the state of sports nowadays: steroids, crooked refs on the take, dogfighting, etc. If you really truly want to clean up sports, then some people HAVE to have examples made of themselves to do so. Deal with it.

However, put a little perspective on it. I’m thrilled to death that Vick will be punished at least a little (likely, TOO little) for what he did, but look at how many others have effectively gotten away with so much more. Drugs, weapons, rape, MURDER of another HUMAN BEING or two (good evening to you, O.J. …). Again, I’m very happy Vick finally did the right thing for once (or at least is scheduled to…) but spare me the sob stories of him being the victim of a witch hunt or whatever. Even if he IS being “singled out”, “hung out to dry”, “sent down the river”, or any of the other lame clichés I’ve heard since this story first broke, that’s better than the far more distressing and far greater number of those that get/got away with… well, murder. At least Vick will actually be punished for the crimes he committed, unlike most of his peers.

So don’t shed a tear for Vick; he’ll do his “time” and be back in the NFL within a year or two. SOME idiotic desperate team will sign him. Some justice.

Thurman Thomas and Michael Irvin led this year’s class of inductees into the Pro Football Hall of Fame in Canton, OH on Saturday. For some reason, Art Monk still hasn’t been selected yet, but that’s another issue.

Saturday also saw Alex Rodriguez become the youngest player in MLB history to 500 home runs.

And Barry Bonds’ reckless pursuit of dropping a giant deuce on everything that is right and good with the game of baseball continued Saturday night as he “tied” Hank Aaron’s home run record with 755 steroid-propelled (*legally, ALLEGED) “home runs” of his own, after hitting a drive to left-center in the 1st inning at Petco Park in San Diego.

Good for him.

No, as alluded to in my previous post, the big story this weekend came out of Wrigley Field, of ALL the unlikely places for big sports stories, as Tom Glavine became the 23rd (and, more than likely, the last) member of the 300 wins club by going into the 7th to beat the Cubs 8-3. Glavine is only the 5th lefty in that club, and the 1st since… well… since Lefty (that’s Steve Carlton to you young pups), and while 3 other 300-game winners (Tom Seaver, Nolan Ryan, Warren Spahn) played for the Mets in their careers, Glavine was the first to actually win #300 in a Mets uniform.

Huge congratulations to a definite first ballot HoF’er, in my opinion, on #300. Congratulations also to the NFL’s newest enshrinees, and also to Alex Rodriguez for being the youngest to reach 500.

And to Barry… Mr. I’m God’s favorite ballplayer… here’s hoping you hit #756 quickly so I don’t have to hear about your worthless *ALLEGED* cheating ass constantly anymore, and then suffer some sort of career-ending injury so A-Rod or whomever doesn’t have as far to go to surpass your final total that will forever be nothing more than a number–i.e., not representative of the “greatest hitter ever”. Which, by the way, is a title you bestowed upon yourself, *ALLEGED* Juice Boy. All these lamb sportswriters and broadcasters did was run with it because they obviously don’t know any better.

That distinction still belongs to Aaron until a legitimate hitter knocks him off the mountain.