A Wie bit early

Sorry, SJ-R, for stealing a potential headline. I know how you guys like your cheesy puns.

I don’t really understand the hubbub about the deal with Michelle Wie being disqualified from the Rail Panther Creek Charity Golf Classic tournament this past weekend. Bipolar Chicago sports columnist Mike Nadel, who is often the first to rag on ANY pro athlete for ANY mistake they make, picks up a proverbial sword and defends young Miss Wie to the bitter end in today’s paper.

Folks, it’s got nothing to do with making mistakes. Yes, Bald Boy, everyone makes mistakes, especially us loser newspaper readers (and members of gaggles of nerds). Even pro athletes, who make exorbitantly obscenely insultingly large amounts of money for playing a sport/game/leisure activity (depending on where you fall in that whole argument) make mistakes. Although for the money they make, you’d like to think they wouldn’t, but they are only human. Just grossly overpaid humans.

This particular “mistake” she made this weekend was not signing her score card. I’ve heard people say “it’s not fair” and offer up all these various reasons as to why Miss Wie shouldn’t have been disqualified. Look, folks, rules are rules. Break them, you get disqualified. That’s the way it is. I don’t really get the whole “it’s not fair” thing. Having to follow the rules isn’t fair? Get over it. She knew the rule, she knew where the little “don’t leave here without signing your score card” area was, she did, she was disqualified. Life sucks sometimes. I know she didn’t purposely attempt to circumvent the rules, but she did break the rules and was disqualified for it, justly and fairly. Lack of intent is irrelevant, folks.

No, it’s not about making mistakes. It’s about maturity. Don’t get me wrong here, folks- it is a bummer, especially considering how good Wie was playing Saturday. And I honestly was impressed with how she stood (well, actually, she sat) and stared down all the bottom-feeding vermin reporters and said, “yeah, I made a mistake”. She didn’t try to blame her caddy, or some LPGA or Panther Creek official, or the residents of Springfield, or President Bush, or anyone else- she owned up to it. That is maturity.

But, here’s the problem I have. She has been on the golf scene for a couple of years now. She has yet to win an LPGA event. She has yet to qualify for a PGA event (but bravo to her for trying). She finds new and inventive (and, quite frankly, stupid) ways of getting herself disqualified from events. Do you think just maybe she’s not yet ready to be a professional golfer (that phrase still cracks me up)? Yes, she is only 18. But that’s my point- she was thrust into the pro circuit at the age of 16, being crowned as the female Tiger Woods, so already, there is a certain level of expectation on her as it is. I’m simply saying that maybe either the pressure is still too much for her, and she needs to mature a little more, or that she’s simply not quite the golfer she was made out to be. Or some combination of both. Personally, I hope it is a matter of just not being mature enough yet.

Whatever the reason, Wie has really turned out to be a big disappointment thus far. And yes, she could kick my ass all over a golf course- even if she were blindfolded, tranquilized, and forced to play left-handed and on one leg. But that’s not really saying much; my three-year-old could probably kick my ass all over a golf course. I’m not saying she’s not a good golfer. But as much hype as she has been given, you’d think she’d have a little more to show for it by now. Hell, you’d think she’d have something to show for it by now.

Basically, we’ll see in a few years. The maturity thing will eventually kick in, and then once it does, if she still can’t win a tournament, then we’ll know that maybe she isn’t the golfer we’d been led to believe she is. But please- don’t sit there and feel sorry for her for being disqualified for not following the rules.

Not that anyone missed me…

…but I’m back.

My ISP has changed from Insight to Comcast, which means I have to change my freakin’ connection information, send emails to everyone I know with my new address (once they finally decide they’re actually going to change it: “look for information coming soon”), change all my mailing lists, blah blah blah blah. Any of you unfortunate souls with the same ISP, you get to do that too. Be prepared.

Well, it turns out that for reasons unbeknownst to anyone but Comcast, they just up and deactivated my modem Wednesday. Mrs. Johann called them this morning to see if they could tell us anything (this was obviously before I found out they deactivated the modem), and the friggin’ Mensa president she spoke to told her they “shut off the internet to the entire Springfield area”.

As before, any of you other unfortunate souls that have Comcast know that would be incorrect.

So this evening, I decided for shits and giggles to call Comcast and find out when they might be “turning the internet back on to the entire Springfield area”, at which time I was told they didn’t (”nor would they”) shut off the internet to an entire area (unless there was some major technical problem) but that they deactivated my modem. I told the surprisingly helpful girl on the phone (thank you, Lisa) that it would sure be “Comcastic” of them to RE-activate my modem. She did, and said she will even give us credit for the two days we were without service. We’ll see if THAT comes true or not.

Anyway, I’m back, ready to once again piss people off with my completely irrelevant tirades about completely irrelevant things. I just hope this isn’t the start of some big ongoing catastrophuck that will result from being unwillingly switched to Comcast.

I am now officially old

Don’t expect much today.

I turn 40 at 9:17pm this evening. Yay.

How ’bout them Cubbies?

All right, Cub fans… bring it on- what’s the excuse this time for the fine, fine fashion in which the Cubs once again choked (albeit much later than normal)?

Goats? Curses? Fans trying to catch foul balls? Wind shear? Global warming? A one-armed man? Dubya?

Here’s one: maybe God just hates the Cubs.

If less IS more, I don’t want to know

I don’t really post all that regularly to JDAB- mainly because my SofIL work schedule sucks ass with a loud slurping noise. I don’t get to post nearly as often as I’d like, but with the posts I do make, I usually try to make some sort of “noise”, if only in my own head.

Alas, to the chagrin of some (I hope), and to the delight of most everyone else, I will likely be posting even more infrequently than I do now. All right, stop your damn cheering and clapping.

Smart asses.

Anyway, first reason is the aforementioned schedule. I just had to pick one of the few state jobs that isn’t 8:30-5 M-F. Secondly, my next semester of Spanish started yesterday, so that is going to take up a lot of my time so I can hopefully learn to “comment allez-vous” better.

Hmmm? It is? Really? Aw, crap… that explains a lot. Well, whatever.

Also requiring some time this fall is the RALFF Fantasy Football League 2007! (cue MNF intro… deh deh deh DEHHHHHHHH…) Our draft is this Sunday at We Be Wings n’ Shit, and I’m looking forward to another season of really serious ass-whoopin’s. That’s taking, not giving. I made the fantasy playoffs last year, but my teams, historically, have both sucked and blown. We’ve got a couple guys in the league that take the whole thing WAY too seriously- and we’ve had some really major issues the last 2-3 seasons that caused some big-time hurt feelings, questioned integrity, and such- but it’s still just for fun and I will keep doing it until it is no longer fun for me.

But I digress. At any rate, don’t be surprised (or too gleeful…) if I don’t make very many posts for a while. Just please don’t give up on me- I’ll still be around every once in a while to inform, enlighten, and, more than likely, offend.

Pardon the absence

I apologize to my four regular readers for not having posted in over a week. I’ve been very busy trying to study for my Spanish final.

Not as well as I feel I should have done, but pretty well overall, thank you for asking.

I am taking Spanish for one- no, three- reasons. First of all, I’ve always wanted to learn Spanish because I think it’s the prettiest language I’ve ever heard (I put it neck and neck with Italian, and just ahead of Russian). Secondly, where I work, we get a lot of Spanish-speaking callers, so it would be helpful to have someone actually in the office that speaks Spanish to be able to help them. (Oh, and it could mean more money for Johann if I am able to “officially” be considered Spanish-speaking.)

Third reason I’m taking Spanish is because I’m trying to get a head-start on things, since the way things are going, Spanish may very well become the official national language, thanks to our idiotic lawmakers and bleeding hearts doing everything they can to turn this country into the United States of Amexico. There are McDonalds in California (and possibly elsewhere) that have signs posted in the window that read “English Spoken Here”. As though that is a selling point to entice someone into a Big Mac. Pitiful. “The Star Spangled Banner”- the national anthem of the ENGLISH-SPEAKING United States of America- is now being sung in Spanish. I don’t recall that it was meant to be.

Learn Spanish, folks. Before long, it will be required.

Tenga mucho cuidado para que pida.