Groovy, baby

Happy 45th Birthday today to one of my favorite comedians, Mike Myers.

He’s one of my favorites because he’s simply a funny guy. He makes me laugh even when just giving interviews. “So I Married an Axe Murderer” was SUCH an underrated movie, and it’s perhaps his best.

Maybe it’s just because I enjoy silly goofball comedies {that don’t have Will Ferrell, Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Jack Black, or any combination thereof}, but I loved all three Austin Powers movies and the baker’s dozen characters he played in each one, I loved “Wayne’s World“, and, of course, he was great as the voice of Shrek. I didn’t see the live-action “The Cat in the Hat” in which he starred (in a nearly identical costume Jim Carrey wore in his disappointing Grinch movie, except Myers’s is black and white instead of green), but I’m sure he was the best part. This new flick of his coming out, “The Love Guru“, looks to be the kind of warped movie I like. That or, like Mrs. Johann wonders, the trailers may be the funniest parts of the movie. Either way, I’m sure I’ll watch it and I’m sure I’ll like it.

Happy Birthday, Mr. Myers! Party on!

Yikes

Happy 62nd Birthday today to a former charter member of my “Celebrities That Are Hot” club, Cherilyn Sarkisian- better known as Cher.

I say “former” because she used to be absolutely gorgeous. In the 70s when she burst on to the scene, she was positively yummy.

Even into the 80s when she started becoming a freak, she was still smokin’ hot.

Then she discovered rhinoplasty and collagen injections. She looks like Ozzy Osbourne nowadays.

Sad.

I’d be fine with her looking like hell, considering the fact that she’s 62 years old. Hell, look at Jane Seymour… Ann-Margret… even Julie Andrews, for the love of Mary Poppins– they’re “old broads” who are still smokin’ hot. But holy crap- THAT is what plastic surgery and added lip PSI does to you. Grow old gracefully, the way nature intended. But if you just absolutely have to be all pretentious and phony have plastic surgery, don’t go all Michael Jackson on yourself. Holy crap. Having that much plastic surgery and looking like that is a little like a cocaine addict that is fat. Make a choice!

Best use of irony, as it relates to Cher: she has the nerve to call Britney Spears and Jennifer Lopez “ho’s”. Hello, kettle? This is Cher. You’re black.

Anyway, in honor of her birthday, I’ve cued up “Gypsies, Tramps & Thieves” in the JDAB Lizard Lounge. Enjoy.

Happy Leap Day

Today is Leap Day.

Every four years, we add an extra day to the calendar. Has to do with… aw, hell, I don’t have the first clue why we do it, we just do. (NOTE: after a quick glance at the place to go for questionably accurate information on everyone and everything, Wikipedia, I have learned that the reason Leap Day exists is because a complete revolution around the sun actually takes 365 days and 6 hours, so to make up for that quarter of a day that results each year, we throw in an extra day every four years, to balance out the cosmos or something along that line. Now whether that’s actually the reason, or whether some idiot Wikipedia “contributor” made that up just to be a dick, I have no freakin’ idea.)

Anyway, I have long been intrigued by the people who happened to have been born on February 29th. The idea of actually being 16 on your fourth birthday has always made me wonder- do people born on February 29th actually consider their age to be the number of “actual” birthdays they’ve had? In that case, I’m sure there are some “17-year-olds” out there that look like hell, and probably feel just as bad. No matter, though- whether you’re celebrating your “12th” or your 48th, or your “1st” or your fourth, Happy Birthday to you.

Just for what it’s worth, and just to give me something with which to waste your time, here are some notable Leap Day babies.

• Pope Paul III (pope), 2-29-1468
• Jimmy Dorsey (bandleader), 2-29-1904
• Dinah Shore (singer/talk show host), 2-29-1916
• Joss Ackland (actor), 2-29-1928
• Alex Rocco (actor), 2-29-1936
• Dennis Farina (actor), 2-29-1944
• Richard Ramírez (serial killer a.k.a. the “Night Stalker”), 2-29-1960
• Ja Rule (rapper), 2-29-1976

And a couple of notable events that occured on Leap Days gone by:

• St. Petersburg, Florida is incorporated; 2-29-1892
• In South Carolina, the minimum age for factory, mill, and mine workers is raised from 12 to 14; 2-29-1916
• Hattie McDaniel (Gone with the Wind) becomes the first black person to win an Academy Award; 2-29-1940
• Dwight D. Eisenhower announces his bid for a second Presidential term (he won); 2-29-1956
• An earthquake in Morocco kills more than 3000 people; 2-29-1960
• Über-sappy comic strip “Family Circus” makes its debut; 2-29-1960
• Hank Aaron becomes the first player in MLB history to sign a $200,000 contract; 2-29-1972
• Gordie Howe makes NHL history by scoring his 800th goal; 2-29-1980

Anyway, enjoy your Leap Day. And if today happens to be your birthday, Happy Birthday.

Happy Birthday to Tony Barbazuko

Today is the 54th birthday of John Travolta, ac-TOR.

Best known (depending on one’s age) for his breakout TV role of Vinnie Barbarino on Welcome Back Kotter, the movie role that made him a mega-star, Tony Manero in “Saturday Night Fever“,  Danny Zuko in the movie version of “Grease“, Vincent Vega in the Quentin Tarantino mega-turd “Pulp Fiction“, or in drag in a fat suit as Edna Turnblad in the 2007 movie version of “Hairspray“, he has had many highs and lows in his acting career.

Obviously,”Grease” and “Saturday Night Fever” were huge, HUGE hits, but then he also made such toxic dumps as “Blow Out“, “Moment by Moment“, and “Perfect“, and the aforementioned “Pulp Fiction”.  Inexplicably, “Pulp Fiction” was a big box-office success and continues to have lucrative DVD sales as well, even though the movie sucked like… well, like a wannabe actress on her first day “in the business”.  For the most part, though, I would call Travolta a decent actor.

Oddly enough, 2-18-54 not only was the day Travolta was born, but also happens to be the day that the Church of Scientology (of which he is a member) founded their Los Angeles… chapter, I guess you’d call it.  The Scientology cult has gotten its fair share of bad press in the last 50 years, most notably (and most recently) the bizarre ramblings of one of its more loquacious whackjob members, profoundly bad actor Tom Cruise.  (I don’t recommend watching the video, but if you feel you must, knock yourself out.  After watching it, you’ll probably want to knock yourself out.)

John Travolta may well have the exact same mindset and completely insane views of himself, post-partum depression, and life in general that Tom Cruise does, but if he does, you have to at least credit Travolta with having enough common sense and/or decency to more or less keep them to himself.  That and the fact that he has a mega-hot wife.

So go rent some DVDs and have yourself a little Travolta-thon tonight in honor of his 54th birthday, and quietly thank him for not being Tom Cruise, whether as an actor or “religious” spokesman.

The big… um… 33

If you see AnonCom or stop by his blog today, wish him a Happy Birthday.

I am now officially old

Don’t expect much today.

I turn 40 at 9:17pm this evening. Yay.