Funny how…

…people usually only get labeled ultra-conservative right-wing nut jobs (or ultra-liberal left-wing nut jobs) by their extreme polar opposites.  And how, apparently, you HAVE to be one extreme or the other or else your views are deemed irrelevant.  And, while we’re at it, funny how, when you (and by “you”, I mean “white people”) say something remotely negative about President Obama (or any black person), you’re called a racist, yet when you say something remotely positive about Obama (or any black person), you’re called disingenuous, condescending, and/or insincere.  Or worse.

…a small-business owner can curse out, throw chairs at, and physically assault his or HER customers and still remain in business.

…people bitched about getting “decent” bike and walking paths in Washington Park and, now that they’re there, nobody uses them.  Conversely…

…motorists bitch and complain about cyclists using the streets yet don’t believe there is a need to “waste money and time” on the city making bike lanes for cyclists to be able to actually get around town safely.  Holy crap, I’m tired of hearing, “if you want to ride your bike, go use the bike trails”.  You know, Sunshine, some people would actually prefer to ride their bikes to work instead of taking a car.  And still others have no choice but to ride a bicycle.  Either way, they should be able to do so without constantly having to worry about being run down by 1500-lb vehicles operated by people texting, shaving, applying makeup, eating their McBreakfasts, etc.

…when a baseball player uses PEDs, he is suspended for minimum 50 games, publicly vilified, and figuratively pelted with rocks in the town square, yet when a football player uses PEDs, nobody seems to care- neither teammates, coaches, league commissioners, nor fans- not to mention they are allowed to keep awards bestowed upon them sometimes just days before being outed for said PED use.

…someone who less than a year ago submitted a blog post poking fun at “beer snobs” now so strongly despises the taste of mass-marketed “big corporation” beers (the A-Bs, the Miller Lites, etc.) that he would rather drink nothing, and is currently on a mission to try as many different microbrews and craft beers as he possibly can.  (NOTE: This one has nothing to do with me.  It’s… um… someone I know, but not me.  Nope.  Definitely not me.)

…watching professional wrestling makes you an uneducated heathen slackjawed booger-eating moron, yet there is absolutely nothing wrong with watching (and getting equally as caught up in) shows like “American Idol”, “Real Housewives of <insert location here>”, “Grey’s Anatomy”, “The Bachelor/-ette”, the sluts-and/or-douchebags-competing-to-date-washed-up-rock-stars-and-rappers shows on VH-1, Dr. Phil, Oprah… or for that matter, the UFC shows, or MMA, or whatever it’s called.  Other than MMA not being choreographed- as far as we know- and the use of weapons actually being against the rules rather than encouraged, there is absolutely no difference between that Ultimate Fighting Championship crap and the WWE.  Except that the WWE is actually watchable and somewhat entertaining.

…unions claim to be all about preserving union jobs and taking care of their members, yet [certain unnamed Midwestern capital city unions] would rather lose dozens of said union jobs (silly little jobs like firefighters and police officers) than to give up a raise or two for the greater good of the union.  Not to mention that of the city and its residents.

…men have no problem being naked and letting it all flop out around one another in locker rooms, doing sickening things involving each other’s ass cheeks to get accepted into fraternities, etc., but absolutely have a homophobic conniption if another man uses the urinal directly next to them in a restroom.

…women think men are just disgusting for thinking and talking the way most of us do, yet they talk the way THEY do among other women when they think men can’t hear them.  Most of you women have absolutely no right calling men “gross” or “oversexed” or anything.  I have absolutely no problem with women that are foul-mouthed, dirty-minded broads, but don’t sit there and act all angelic and pure and oh-so-easily offended just because men are around.

…stay-at-home moms are called “homemakers” and are considered heroes for all they do with no salary- and rightfully so- yet stay-at-home dads are called lazy unemployed losers.

…being drunk diminishes not only one’s judgment and motor skills but also one’s ability to whisper.

…people in this country think nothing of sending millions of dollars to foreign countries they’ll never visit (and probably can’t find on a map) aiding natural disaster and sickness epidemic victims they’ll never meet, yet will not give a dime to programs that try to feed the hungry, cure the sick, or house the homeless in the United States.