I am absolutely stunned that, in the year 2010, not only are there people that still consider Groundhog Day to be a legitimate “holiday”, but more so that there are STILL people- grown adults!- that buy in to all this groundhog bullshit. I mean really, really buy in to it.
Look, I can appreciate Punxsutawney, PA, having their little groundhog festival every year. I mean, that’s just their thing. It’s not Philadelphia Phil (surprisingly), or Palm Springs Phil (they’d probably get a bigger tourist turnout), it’s Punxsutawney Phil. And I’m not faulting anyone in the least for making the trek to see the… um… spectacle… that is Groundhog Day in Punxsutawney. Plus, hearing the term “Gobbler’s Knob” still makes me giggle like a little girl.
Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee…
But holy crap- there apparently are still people out there that actually plan their lives around what happens on Groundhog Day. I can’t even begin to count the number of ways in which that is just messed up. First of all, it’s a rodent, folks. People blame meteorologists for being wrong “all the time”, and meteorologists have years of education and training, and state-of-the-art computer systems for tracking the weather patterns. Yet some of these same people will put 100% stock in the whimsical- and MAKEBELIEVE- “prognostications” of… a rodent. Phil saw his shadow, six more weeks of winter! Phil didn’t see his shadow- it’s an early spring! (If it’s the other way around, bite me. It’s not like it matters.) Um, people, it’s a groundhog. You understand that animals only talk in cartoons, right? Even if Punxsutawney Phil COULD talk, I’m guessing he’d probably tell the yay-hoos in the turn-of-the-century costumes to give it a friggin’ rest.
Bill Murray and Punxsutawney Phil's 2nd cousin, Pasadena Paul, in "Groundhog Day"
Oh, and that whole six more weeks of winter thing… I hate to be the one to reveal this to some of you, but Groundhog Day is on February 2nd. The first day of spring occurs on the day of the vernal equinox, somewhere around March 21st or 22nd, roughly six weeks later.
SIX WEEKS later.
SIX WEEKS LATER.
In other words, genius, there are always six more weeks of winter anyway, regardless of whether or not Punxsutawney Phil “saw” his shadow, his toes, Elvis, a UFO, “Avatar” in 3D, or Oprah. Again, if you want to be Mr. or Mrs. Optimistic (Jean Claude Van DAMN I can’t stand people like that) and tell yourself it’ll be an early spring, rock on. Just don’t bitch to me when you can’t understand why “it’s still cold and Phil said it was supposed to be an early spring”.
It’s folklore, people. It’s not real, no matter how strongly you believe in it. Kind of like, simply believing Will Ferrell movies are funny doesn’t make them so. But hey, if you want to believe the whole Groundhog Day thing is legitimate, that’s your thing. But don’t complain about it still being cold in a month and a half. You can do one or the other, just not both. Myself, I get to complain about it being cold. And I will. A lot. Because I hate winter. A lot.
But hey, at least I don’t believe that a giant rat can control the seasonal weather patterns. Nor that Will Ferrell movies are funny, for that matter. Because they really aren’t.
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Then you’re not going to re-write this same post tomorrow…and the next day… and the next…?
Groundhog Day is one of my least favorite days in the year. Who wants to be reminded we still have 6 more weeks of winter?
Zeeb: Good one, but no. Obviously, since I just now came back to check if anyone left any comments.
Marjorie: I know, right?! It’s almost as bad as that OTHER totally pointless holiday in February.