You might be from Springfield if…

Just got this from my mom via email. I thought it was good enough to share. My apologies to whomever sent this out since, given my being me, I can’t resist adding my two cents.

You know you’re from Springfield if:

1. Kerasotes is the only cinema chain you’ve ever heard of. (There are others?)

2. Putting a pro-Blagojevich sign in your yard is treated like treason. (Maybe not treason so much as just proving you’re a dumb ass.)

3. You KNOW we should have won the Simpsons hometown contest. (It’s not like there was an actual “prize”, but yeah, we should have.)

4. You thank God every day that Taco Bell came back. (Yeah, but the new one is in such a crappy location.)

5. The Cubs’ arch-enemies are the Cardinals, not the White Sox. (Well duh… the Cubs and White Sox have only been “enemies” for the last dozen years or so since they started that absolutely ridiculous interleague play crap.)

6. When someone mistakes Chicago for the capitol of IL, you want to punch them. (You have NO idea how bad that gets under my skin. That and the whole “is that anywhere near Chicago?” thing.)

7. You know exactly where to get a good horseshoe. (Folks, D’Arcy’s shoes are okay, but they are NOT the best in town by any stretch of the imagination.)

8. You know what a horseshoe is. (Not our fault other people are clueless.)

9. You know the difference between a tornado warning and a tornado watch. (Well, we SHOULD by know!)

10. You practice tornado drills in school and assume everyone else does. (Don’t they?)

11. ANY kind of accent makes you laugh, except Chicago accents. Those just annoy the crap out of you. (Very true, but they are also very easy to imitate and {deservedly} ridicule.)

12. You know and have been to the greatest sledding spot in Springfield: Pasfield Golf Course, baby! (You can’t say you’ve been “sledding” until you’ve broken something trying to keep from mowing down a four-year-old on Pasfield.)

13. You know better than to get too attached to any stores in the mall since they change locations more often than you change your underpants. (Folks, I’m tellin’ ya, it’s but a matter of time before White Oaks suffers the same fate as the Venture/K-Mart on MacArthur.)

14. Seeing Guess Gordon or Jerry Lambert in person warrants a phone call to all your friends going, ‘You’ll never guess who I just saw!!’ (Um, actually, for me it’s Elizabeth Wooley and Ashley Glass. They are YUMMY!!)

15. You went sight-seeing on the west side after the March 2006 tornadoes. (Yeah, there were certainly enough of you yay-hoos over here… staring instead of helping SOMEwhere. Next time, how about actually pitching in instead of just gawking?!)

16. Your school wouldn’t close even if there was a good 2 feet of snow on the roads, and on the bus ride there, the driver goes about 60 mph whether the roads are plowed or not, but now it only takes a predicted 2 inches. (Boy, THAT ain’t no lie. Back in MY day…)

17. Every grade school field trip was to a Lincoln site of some sort. (Ugh- don’t get me started.)

18. When you visit another town’s library, you ask where all the homeless people are. COMMENT DELETED

19. When you go out of town and see a Lincoln memorial, you say “He’s EVERYWHERE…” (Now THAT’S funny. But other than Washington, D.C., ARE there any other Lincoln Memorials?)

20. Your prom, senior and wedding pictures were taken in Washington Park. (That must be a generational thing. I didn’t go to prom, but my senior pictures were taken in the SSHS mobile unit where they taught driver’s ed in those days- I kid you not- and my wedding pictures were taken at the church. Is Washington Park the “in” place now?)

21. When someone from out of town asks what bus to take, you laugh in their face while saying, “Well first you’ll have to wait 2 hours for it to come by”. (Can’t say I’ve ever done that, but okay.)

22. Kreckels!! (The ONLY place to go when you need a big-ass-greasy-cheeseburger-and-krinkle-cut-fries-fix.)

23. You laugh a little when you see those 2 giant bolts on the Lauterbach Tire man’s neck. After all…he was headless for a bit. (I’ve never looked at that statue that closely before. I don’t really drive Wabash east of Chatham Road much. Guess I’ll need to check it out now.)

24. You miss the old Barrel Head even though the new one is so much nicer. (Can’t speak on this- I haven’t been to the new one yet.)

25.Your power plant almost blew up twice in one month. (That’s just a tad of an exaggeration, folks.)

26.You have kept track of the whereabouts of the “Pink Elephant”. Never has a martini looked so good… (Can’t say I’ve “kept track” of its whereabouts, but yeah, I do kinda smile when I do see it.)

27.The fact that the only Wendy’s in town is WAY north or WAY south ruins your lunch plans. (Amen. Wendy’s rocks.)