What are you REALLY afraid of?

Stealing yet another article from today’s SJ-R…

I’m not here to argue the “right” or “wrong” of gay marriage or the banning of same. I’m not gay, so quite honestly, it doesn’t affect me in the least. It’s not like lifting a gay marriage ban would suddenly condemn heterosexual marriages, is it? (The answer to that question would be “no”, genius.) Therefore, any comments left here in support of or against either gay marriage or gay marriage bans will go ignored, so don’t bother. I do, however, have to say something (again) about some of the unintelligent masses that leave comments on the SJ-R message boards.

Without pointing out specific comments- arguers of both sides had some pretty ridiculous things to say- I see it like this. Not acknowledging gay couples exist is not going to make them nonexistent. There have been gay couples for centuries, and there will be for centuries more. But why are people so against them? Yeah, yeah, yeah, there’s the whole “God’s word, it says in the Bible” thing, but you know what? The Bible- just like the Constitution- is subject to and receives some pretty broad interpretation (and, quite frankly, pretty brutal misuse of the words that were written, in both cases), depending on what each person “wants” it to mean. Plus, if you want to get down to it, there are some events in the Bible that aren’t exactly… how should I say it… in accordance with {what some people believe is} God’s word. (Again, I’m not debating THAT, so save your breath.)

People argue what that does to children- “exposing them to that lifestyle” and what not. What lifestyle is that- two people that love each other? Yeah, gee, that’s far more damaging to kids than male-female couples that get divorced, or households where abuse occurs, things like that. Some people that use this {lame} argument make it sound like they think the gay couple “demonstrates their gayness” (i.e. has sex) right there in front of the kids or something. I really, REALLY doubt that very many gay or lesbian couples actually do that, and of those that might, would it really be any worse than a male-female couple that have sex in front of their kids? And I’m betting there are male-female couples out there somewhere that do.

And since I mentioned divorce, let’s look at the divorce rate these days. Last I heard anything about the divorce rate in this country, it was near 50%. That is absolutely pathetic, folks. Pardon me for generalizing, since generalizations are a part of the very essence of this whole debate, but of the very, VERY limited amount of gay couples I know, have known, or know (have known) of in my life, most of them had been together for at least 10 years. Some, 20 years. Some, longer still. I’m one of those people that believes a child needs a mother and a father. But even so, it would seem to me that families with two “parental units”, even of the same sex, that love each other and raise children in a warm, loving environment have to be better than divorced couples that degrade and/or bitch at or about their ex-spouse to or in front of the kids, or those where Mom’s doing her best but Dad’s a deadbeat, alcoholic, abuser, addict, whatever (or simply not around). The same for the families where Mom’s the deadbeat, alcoholic, abuser, dot dot dot. Let’s be fair- there are deadbeat moms, too.

Oh, and the other really stupid argument out there: “they’re trying to recruit our children!!!” Good gravy, ignoramus, they’re gay- they’re NOT the Army. I’ve never ONCE seen a “We’re Looking For a Few Good Queers N’ Dykes” stand at the State Fair, at the mall, at any school, at the Chuck E. Cheese, or anywhere else. I’ve never even seen a pamphlet. Maybe since I don’t {knowingly} hang out where homosexuals do, I’ve just “never seen them”, but I’d think after 40 years on the planet, I’d have at least heard about these supposed membership drives by now. Get real.

Besides, I’m betting good imaginary money that some of the homophobics people so strongly against gay marriage, and against homosexuals themselves, would more than likely be shocked- dare I say, devastated- if they knew the amount of their friends, coworkers, and other acquaintances that they don’t know are actually gay.

As for my beliefs, if you’re wondering: homosexuality is not for me. I’m a heterosexual man and I like women, and I like women a lot- especially the equipment they possess that I don’t. But I don’t think homosexuals are necessarily doomed to burn in hell, like the Bible-thumpers believe they are, simply by virtue of being homosexual. Folks, look at the world today. Are homosexuals really on the same level as sex offenders and murderers, as a few commenters suggested? Who do homosexuals harm by being homosexuals? Your “delicate sensibilities”? Please.

And what if, hypothetically, I found out my son’s teacher was gay? Good question- what if? I’ll be far more comfortable with him or her being gay (so long as he or she is a good teacher and doesn’t try to push his or her personal beliefs and views on to my child) than I would with a heterosexual that is a crappy teacher that does try to push their beliefs and views on to my child. Since we’re dealing with ridiculous hypotheticals, look at it this way: which is worse, a gay teacher who is simply nothing more than a good teacher who happens to be gay, or a heterosexual Mary Kay Letorneau type that has sex with your son (or, if it helps you see my point, a male teacher that has sex with your daughter)? In which scenario is your child’s “innocence”, that you seem in such fear for, more completely destroyed? Personally, I’d rather my kids have the gay teacher, given the choice.

I will be the first to admit, I don’t want to “see it”- if there’s a scene in a movie where two men kiss, I’m pretty much “eeeewwwww!!”, for example- but I am not offended or “threatened” by a gay couple, male or female. Frankly, I feel much better knowing about the homosexuals around me, in my neighborhood, in my church, in my kids’ school, or whatever, than I could ever consider feeling by not knowing about the pedophiles, necrophiles, zoophiles, people who get off by being pooped on, and other similar freaks of humanity around me, in my neighborhood, in my church, in my kids’ school, or whatever. There are far more sick, twisted people out there than homosexuals. Fear them instead.

Maybe I’m mellowing just a tad in my old age. I’m not the epitome of tolerance by ANY stretch of the imagination, nor will I likely ever be, and I admit that (not that I’m excusing it, but at least I can fess up to it). I’m still far more conservative than liberal in my views- I still don’t believe that socialized medicine is a good thing, for example- but holy cow, people. Let’s get some perspective on who the real “menaces to society” are. I don’t “agree” with homosexuality, but I also don’t paint all homosexuals with the same broad brush {anymore}, either. As with any race, religion, gender, or any other group of people, there are good and there are bad. Not all white people are racist, not all black people are criminals or drug dealers (it’s predominantly whites that have brought meth into the world, folks), not all Muslims are terrorists, and not all homosexuals are deviants trying to corrupt your children, nor are they all the Jack-from-Will and Grace and flannel-shirt-and-she-mullet-wearing caricatures that are typically presented in movies and on TV. As I alluded to before, some of you would probably be surprised at some of the people in your lives that are gay and you never knew it, yet once you found out, you would probably be horrified and never look at them the same way again.

Again, how are homosexuals worse than a heterosexual that sexually and/or physically abuses children? Or one that sexually and/or physically abuses the spouse, especially in front of the kids? Folks, when child abusers/sex offenders are concerned, their gender preference is not the issue. The issue is that they abuse children, period. As I said, not all “homosexuals” are pedophiles. Matter of fact, the overwhelming majority of pedophiles are not gay. Look it up.

Pick your poison, people. I’ll take “flamers” and “diesel dykes” living next door to me- and my kids- over rapists and child abusers any day of the week and twice on Sundays. As I said, fear those you don’t know about more than those you do.