Like you wouldn’t do it

Glancing at the SJ-R dot-com comment boards- always a source of humor and irritation- I see that people are still bitching about Tony Libri and the other guys on the Sanitary Board giving themselves pay raises. Senator Bomke even chimed in in this morning’s paper in the form of a Letter to the Editor. And for the record, Republican or Democrat, Sen. Bomke is one of the few decent public officials anywhere in the state. “Decent public official”… that’s a little like saying “whole half” or “virgin birth” or “sit up”. Or “honest lawyer”. But debating Sen. Bomke’s integrity or honor, or the whole liberal vs. conservative thing in general, is not what this particular bitchfest is about, so don’t start bashing Sen. Bomke here.

To all of you people out there screaming “OUTRAGE!” at the Sanitary Board and demanding they all be removed from office because they gave themselves raises, shut the hell up. Don’t sit there atop your little pedestals in your little ivory towers and even attempt to try to convince me or anyone else that, if you had the means by which to grant yourself pay increases, you wouldn’t do it. It’s human nature to want more money, especially when it’s at someone else’s expense. I’m not saying it’s “right” in the least, but that’s how people are. Dey want money, money (yeah, yeah), dey want money, money (yeah, yeah)…

My personal opinion is that it’s complete and total bullshit how legislators, and any other officials who can, can vote themselves pay increases when they are part-time employees that make ridiculous salaries already, but also are paid overtime as a reward for not getting their work accomplished (see the budget fiasco last summer), they receive full-time benefits and insurance (courtesy of John and Jill Taxpayer), plus they get per diems, cars (and airplanes, as is the case with Gov. Chicagovich) to take them to and from work (again, at our expense), they have innumerable secretaries, interns, pages, and assorted other lackeys to do 97% of their jobs for them, as well as get them coffee, lunch, hookers (and six-figure jobs for their wives to give themselves more time to spend with their hookers), free Hannah Montana tickets, blowjobs, and whatever else at the snap of a finger… need I go on? Oh, and then there’s that whole legislative immunity bullshit. But the thing is, they do all this for the same reason dogs lick their balls. Again, it’s human nature. Given the choice of a low-paying, dead-end job requiring long, hard, backbreaking, and/or thankless work and a six-figure part-time job with full benefits, company car (or plane), per diem, your own staff, infinite TV time, and countless other perks, and a write-your-own salary option, which would YOU choose?

The problem isn’t THAT they give themselves pay increases, but that they ARE ABLE to give themselves pay increases. Again, if you had the ability to do so, you would too, and you know you would. I’d like to be able to say I would do “the right thing” and be all virtuous and all, but chances are that I’d probably give myself an increase as well, if I could. Can’t really blame them for exercising an option they’ve been handed on a silver platter, especially one that everyone reading this would exercise as well, given the opportunity. Take that option away from them (not to mention lower their friggin’ salaries a few dozen thousand dollars) and maybe it’ll be a little different. (Probably not, but it’s better than where we’re at now.)

Funny how the higher people get paid, the less motivated they get to earn it. Out in the REAL world (i.e. anywhere you don’t have politics and unions to protect the slackers), work ethic like theirs would get rewarded by being shown the door. But as long as the crooked world of politics and unions exist, this kind of thing will continue to happen. Be outraged if you must, but don’t act surprised. And don’t act like you wouldn’t do the same, because you would. And, likely, so would I. Take the blank checks away and they can’t very well write the checks, now can they?

We need the ability to recall all of these douchebags that aren’t getting the job done. Governors, senators, representatives, judges, sheriffs, sanitary board members, I don’t care what it is. If we have the ability to elect them, we deserve the right to remove them if they aren’t doing their friggin’ jobs to our satisfaction. And it shouldn’t have to wait until their next election and having to just hope the voters of Illinois (or Springfield or whatever the case) are smart enough not to re-elect them. (Kind of like how all the idiots inexplicably re-elected Blowj Blagojevich in 2006 after the catastrophuck he created his first four years… hmmm, what’s THAT sound like?) If they can’t get the job done, get them out and find someone else who can.

Oh, and Springfield is still the capital of Illinois, folks. I Googled it.