The Wide World of…
A few days ago, Dan at BFS raised an interesting debate based on a Jim Leach broadcast.
I only noticed it this morning (sorry, Dan, I’ve been busy), so I figured it was pretty much after the fact for me to add my two Lincolns, so I’ll just do it here, and if people still want to disagree, we can continue Dan’s discussion. I think everyone that commented on Dan’s post had pretty valid points.
If you didn’t click the link above, the debate was about what is considered a “sport” and what isn’t.
My opinion is that the line between “sport” and “game” (or “competition” or “activity” or whatever you choose to call something that is “not a sport”) at least CAN be wah-fer thin, for several different reasons. The “sport” (or “not sport”) in question may be one you enjoy watching or playing, for example, or you have some other vested interest that provides you with a bias for or against a particular “sport” (or “not sport”).
Dictionary.com, my usual go-to all-things-vocabulary source (when I can’t track down my brother), defines “sport” as, among other things, “an athletic activity requiring skill or physical prowess and often of a competitive nature, as racing, baseball, tennis, golf, bowling, wrestling, boxing, hunting, fishing, etc.“. That definition in and of itself seems to automatically denote all nine of the above listed activities as “sports”. Again, every person can find argument with each as to whether it is a sport or not. Some of that could be related to the amount of manliness (or perceived manliness) associated with a given sport. Most men think football and hockey are “manly” because they’re such brutal games, and think soccer is nothing but a bunch of fairies runnin’ around in tight shorts. Personally, I think there’s plenty to be said about guys with testosterone imbalances (and the fact that “macho” is actually a Spanish word meaning “small penis”), but that’s another post for another day.
I think for something to be considered a “sport” requires several criteria (again, solely my opinion, so don’t go zipping me pissy comments stating “what about this or that”):
A) the participants, in order to be able to excel, must possess some degree of athleticism (meaning at least moderately physically fit);
B) there must be at least moderate physical exertion involved;
C) there is at least some amount of hand-eye coordination required;
D) not just anybody can do it {well};
E) there is a clear winner and loser (i.e., no ties).
That said, there were other criteria people on Dan’s site mentioned- direct competition between the participants, some degree of strategery involved, do you sweat when you play it, things like that. I liked whoever said on Dan’s site that there needs to be some sort of outside element involved to make achieving greatness be up to more than just someone’s own abilities. Or however they worded it. I have a short attention span.
Ooooh, a ladybug!
Anyway, I feel that the “big four” (baseball, football, basketball, hockey) are definitely sports (so long as the games don’t end in ties!!!). I don’t like soccer in the least (it’s hockey on grass and without the weapons, basically), but I do still consider it a sport. A totally boring sport, in my eyes, but still a sport. I have respect for {good} soccer players; there’s no way in hell I could do that. I just can’t bear to sit through watching it. Or hockey, for that matter. My dislike of it, however, does not diminish the “sport” aspect. I just don’t believe the games should end in ties. In any “sport”. If a game doesn’t have a “winner”, then it wasn’t a game, it was an exhibition. Things like volleyball and tennis must be considered sports as well, whether you “like” them or not.
Bowling, golf, and auto racing seem to fall into the “depends on how much one likes watching/playing it” category. There are fat slobs like me that are great bowlers and golfers (NOT like me), so that kind of eliminates the “athletic” aspect. I can’t really see the athletic ability required in auto racing- how “athletic” must one be to turn left 800-1000 times- but racing does require an insane amount of concentration and lightning-quick reflex.
Fishing and hunting, I have a real hard time considering them “sports” as such. Again, physical fitness of the participant is not a requirement for success. Hell, in fishing, you do nothing but sit in a boat and cast and wait. The most “athletic” part of fishing comes from trying to reel in a 30-pound fish on 12-pound test line without snapping it. (SIDE NOTE: I like to fish, and I understand that the spectator aspect has no impact on this debate, but does anyone really watch fishing shows on TV?! Even the actual fishing tournaments, not just the Bubba Ray Hilljack’s Fishin’ Hole demonstration shows?!)
Then you have things like gymnastics, skiing, swimming, figure skating, diving, snowboarding, etc. Those certainly require athletic ability (for example, the “Iron Cross” move on the rings in gymnastics always impresses me), but in most events in these sports, a strong performance is essentially dependent on the participant’s own abilities, as well as {supposedly impartial} judges’ opinions of how well you did. Anything open to interpretation, I have a hard time classifying as a sport. I’m not saying, I’m just saying. Now with skiing and snowboarding, there is a caveat for the events that are merely “best time” (slaloms, for example) that don’t involve judging “artistic merit”, but there again, the participant is basically only at the mercy of his or her own ability. Yeah, yeah, I know that things like wind, snow conditions, and visibility do affect performance, but there’s not 300-lb men trying to tackle you, throw you into the boards, or otherwise hinder your performance, either. Essentially, you’re still the only thing keeping you from performing to the best of your abilities. Even in swimming- the other swimmers should have no bearing on how well or how fast you swim. Although, that’d make swimming more interesting to watch if they did- say, half the swimmers swim lengthwise, half swim twice as many laps side to side.
But I digress.
Lastly, there are all the “leisure time activities” that are becoming organized and calling themselves “sports”. Things like cheerleading, Frisbee Golf (or Disc Golf, if you prefer), darts, Ping Pong (or table tennis- what-the-hell-ever), badminton, Hacky Sack, ballroom dancing, etc., and the most perplexing of all, Texas Hold ‘Em. Folks, it’s friggin’ poker. Other than the “there is a winner and a loser(s)” thing, how can a game of cards even remotely be considered a “sport”?! Oh, and my other new favorite- Air Guitar (and now Guitar Hero, as though playing a video game with an electronic replica of a guitar somehow makes it more “respectable”) competitions. I found that featured on Fox Sports late one night. Don’t even get me started. I’m not “knocking” any of them (except maybe the Air Guitar and Guitar Hero); I’m just not sure they can be considered “sports”. Cheerleading, for example, while requiring lots of athleticism and hand-eye coordination, still is dependent on judges’ interpretations. Again, I’m NOT knocking cheerleaders or their competitions, which I know are a huge deal for the participants, as they should be. It’s just that being shown on a sports-themed television network doesn’t automatically make something a sport.
Bottom line, just about any activity you can name can be argued “sport” or “not sport”, depending on who is talking about it, so the only safe thing that the ESPNs and Fox Sports Channels of the world can do is to call everything a “sport” and just leave the debate to people like you and me to discuss ad nauseum over the beer/wine/hard liquor/foo-foo drink/coffee/other beverage of our choice. There is no right or wrong in this debate; it’s all based on what each person believes. For every person who calls baseball a sport, there is someone who will argue it isn’t. For every person who calls soccer a sport, there is someone who will argue it isn’t. Same with golf, bowling, racing, track, or anything. Until someone comes out with a clear cut, no room for interpretation definition of what a “sport” is, this argument will never be resolved. But it’s still kinda fun to debate- especially because it provides a chance to rip on soccer and NASCAR. 
Oh, and one final note, to commenter “Russ” on Dan’s site: I lettered in band, thank you very much. Trumpet, French horn, baritone horn, and percussion, baby. Go Band Geeks!!!
Sucker
Mrs. Johann has been stuck with married to me 10 years today.
If you see her, give her your condolences. She deserves ‘em.
Lyric of the Day
With apologies to Carole King:
Did everyone feel it? Stupid earthquake; I couldn’t get back to sleep afterward.
Up in smoke
Ah, once again, the “intelligent” folks that post their views on the SJ-R.com message boards have shown what complete idiots they all are.
First of all, there is self-proclaimed know-it-all, nothing better to do with his time, frequent Letter to the Editor writer Frankford Milf or whatever his name is, showing what little brain matter he actually possesses by spouting off about what nerve Ron Paul has still being in the Presidential race when he (Dr. Paul) doesn’t believe in allowing women the “freedom to control her reproductive options”. When, exactly, did dismembering and murdering an unborn child become a “reproductive option”? Dumb ass. Not to mention the idiot that jumped to Milf’s defense by stating that “the term ‘unborn child’ is an oxymoron”. Nice. If that wo/man has kids, I’m sure they’d be thrilled to know that they were not considered a “child” until they were actually born. Gee, thanks, Mom & Dad!
Next, we’re but a week into the 2008 baseball season and the whole “the Cubs are better than the Cardinals/nuh-uuuuuuh” and “Cardinal fans are better than Cub fans/nuh-uuuuuuh” debates are already in full force, with both sides making themselves look like fools, as always. Note to idiot Cardinal fans: don’t get too cocky just yet; it’s the 6th game of the season. There’s still six months of baseball to be played. You’d all get downright pissy if the Cubs were 5-1 and the Cardinals were 3-3, and the Cub fans started a “we’re in first place, nanner nanner nanner” superiority dance like you’re doing. Remember, it doesn’t make a damned bit of difference who is in first place the first week in April, or even the first week of September; what matters is who is in first place the first week of October. Oh, and enjoy Pujols while he’s still got some elbow left- once it tears all the way, he’ll be done, unfortunately. Note to idiot Cub fans: every year you guys say the Cubs have what it takes to win it all. It’ll be 100 years this year; do you really think anything will be different? Truthfully?! All of you need to get over yourselves. Ain’t a one of you that has any control over (or, for that matter, any real stake in) who finishes higher than whom, and if it affects your life as much as you all make it look like it does, you really need some therapy. Badly.
And in case you’re wondering, I’m a Cardinals fan who’s just damn happy the Cardinals are not 1-5 or worse, like they really should be, considering they have a very shaky rotation that had one good week, and also a superstar who very possibly will blow his elbow the rest of the way and suffer a probably career-ending injury, cutting short what was likely to be a potentially Hall of Fame-worthy career. In other words, I’m a baseball fan with the proper perspective with regard to his favorite team.
However, the idiots I’m referring to this time are the idiots bitching over the “smoking ban” and its enforceability (or lack thereof).
I can’t believe I watched them… 47 times each
I’m guessing I’ve seen in the neighborhood of about 1,000 movies. Note I say “movies”- there is a difference between a “movie” and a “film”. “Movies”, to me, are the widespread, “mainstream”, blockbuster types that are made for the sheer entertainment of their particular target audience (and, of course, the sheer dollar value it generates), whereas “films” are the types that appear in about 2 dozen theaters worldwide, are “critical masterpieces”, aren’t concerned with box-office revenue, and that most people have never heard of. Jackie Chan movie, foreign film. “Star Wars” movie, independent film. You get the idea. I’m not knocking “films” or people who enjoy “films”; I’m merely stating that I’m not a big fan of “films” and I typically stick with “movies”.
There have been some really good movies (”The Shawshank Redemption”, “12 Angry Men”) and there have been some really bad movies (”Best in Show”, “White Chicks”). The great majority lie somewhere in between the two.
Now, of course what constitutes a “good” movie and what constitutes a “bad” movie is completely subjective, based on each person’s individual tastes. I don’t like social conscience movies, for example, yet I thought “Boyz N’ the Hood” was very well done. As a rule, I hate musicals, but how can you not like “Grease”? But then, I like really silly, stupid comedies, yet have hated virtually everything I’ve seen starring Will Ferrell, the reigning king of really silly, stupid comedies. Go figure.
What’s my point? There isn’t one. Simple.
There are some movies widely accepted as really, really horrible movies, yet I like them. And these movies are horrible. But here, in no particular order, are some of my favorite really bad movies.
Ah, hypocrisy is alive and well on WordPress
Being on WordPress allows you the “privilege” (?) of scanning some of the more popular WordPress blogs while tending to your own.
There appears to be this sudden glut of blogs with nice little stereotype-perpetuating ideologies; some are deemed “humorous” in nature, while some seem to be genuinely rife with hostility. I’m talking about the “Stuff _______ People Like” blogs.
Stuff White People Like appears to be the original, or at least the most popular and most frequently posted and commented upon. I’ve also seen Stuff Black People Like, Stuff College People Like, Stuff Educated Black People Like, Stuff White Parents Like, etc. (Note that I’m not providing links to any of them because none of them deserve the free plug. I didn’t even want to mention their names, but not doing so would have really made this post rather vague.)
First of all, the Stuff White People Like blog is pretty ridiculous. Of the nearly 100 things so far that they claim white people like, there have only been a handful that I myself am remotely interested in. Therefore, it is a stereotype. “Humorous” or “satirical” or not, it’s still a stereotype. And then there’s the Stuff Black People Like and Stuff Educated Black People Like blogs, which, while written (presumably) by blacks, still perpetuate stereotypes. The few entries I’ve seen on these blogs even have comments left by readers that go on to further incite the “Fuck Whitey” sentiment. Go check them out- my particular favorite is the one that, on a post entitled “Hate Groups Know No Color” or something along that line, someone left the heartwarming comment, “Hate groups DO know a color and it is white”.
Ah, good-natured ribbing indeed. A couple bars of Kumbayah, anyone?
If people want to go on bashing their own race (or any other, for that matter), that’s fine and dandy. Freedom of speech and all, even if you’re an idiot. Hence why I am here. But speaking of which, why, then, am I pummeled here with hate mail (okay, hate comments) when I do nothing more than poke fun at Wal-Mart shoppers or craft beer and foo-foo coffee drinkers? It cracks me up how certain people think it’s up to them and they alone to pick and choose when racism, labels, generalizations, and stereotypes are okay and when they’re wrong. Again, call it “humor” or “satire” all you want- it still breeds the very unrest between ethnic or other sociological groups that people say they are striving to eliminate. You can’t very well be trying to eliminate racism and stereotypes if you’re feeding them, now can you?
Kind of like that special “N” word. It’s considered wrong when white people use it, yet it’s perfectly okay for black people to call each other (and themselves) that word at will. I’m not going to pretend to be above it- I have used the N-word before in my life. It’s not something I’m proud of by any means, but at least I have the balls to fess up to it. I don’t like the word and I do think it’s extremely hateful in nature. But if it is, it is hateful regardless of the race (or the mood) of the speaker. Don’t give me the lame “black people use it as a term of endearment– they say ‘nigga’, so it’s different” argument. It’s NOT different, sunshine. It’s either offensive or it isn’t. To vilify white people that say the N-word but then not think twice when a black person says it is… wait for it… RACIST. The word is either hateful and racist or it isn’t. It doesn’t depend on who says it; either everyone needs to stop using it or else you can’t get bent out of shape when you hear it. Bottom line, it’s just a word. It only brings you down as far as you let it. But if you’re that offended by that word, tell those that seem to use it most (even the inbred limpdick neo-Nazi dickheads pinheads skinheads, who actually are not even worth the effort) to stop using it. Otherwise, just shut up.
Once again, it seems it is okay to be racist, as long as you’re not white.
Bunch of damn hypocrite bastards.
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Like you wouldn’t do it
Glancing at the SJ-R dot-com comment boards- always a source of humor and irritation- I see that people are still bitching about Tony Libri and the other guys on the Sanitary Board giving themselves pay raises. Senator Bomke even chimed in in this morning’s paper in the form of a Letter to the Editor. And for the record, Republican or Democrat, Sen. Bomke is one of the few decent public officials anywhere in the state. “Decent public official”… that’s a little like saying “whole half” or “virgin birth” or “sit up”. Or “honest lawyer”. But debating Sen. Bomke’s integrity or honor, or the whole liberal vs. conservative thing in general, is not what this particular bitchfest is about, so don’t start bashing Sen. Bomke here.
To all of you people out there screaming “OUTRAGE!” at the Sanitary Board and demanding they all be removed from office because they gave themselves raises, shut the hell up. Don’t sit there atop your little pedestals in your little ivory towers and even attempt to try to convince me or anyone else that, if you had the means by which to grant yourself pay increases, you wouldn’t do it. It’s human nature to want more money, especially when it’s at someone else’s expense. I’m not saying it’s “right” in the least, but that’s how people are. Dey want money, money (yeah, yeah), dey want money, money (yeah, yeah)…
My personal opinion is that it’s complete and total bullshit how legislators, and any other officials who can, can vote themselves pay increases when they are part-time employees that make ridiculous salaries already, but also are paid overtime as a reward for not getting their work accomplished (see the budget fiasco last summer), they receive full-time benefits and insurance (courtesy of John and Jill Taxpayer), plus they get per diems, cars (and airplanes, as is the case with Gov. Chicagovich) to take them to and from work (again, at our expense), they have innumerable secretaries, interns, pages, and assorted other lackeys to do 97% of their jobs for them, as well as get them coffee, lunch, hookers (and six-figure jobs for their wives to give themselves more time to spend with their hookers), free Hannah Montana tickets, blowjobs, and whatever else at the snap of a finger… need I go on? Oh, and then there’s that whole legislative immunity bullshit. But the thing is, they do all this for the same reason dogs lick their balls. Again, it’s human nature. Given the choice of a low-paying, dead-end job requiring long, hard, backbreaking, and/or thankless work and a six-figure part-time job with full benefits, company car (or plane), per diem, your own staff, infinite TV time, and countless other perks, and a write-your-own salary option, which would YOU choose?
The problem isn’t THAT they give themselves pay increases, but that they ARE ABLE to give themselves pay increases. Again, if you had the ability to do so, you would too, and you know you would. I’d like to be able to say I would do “the right thing” and be all virtuous and all, but chances are that I’d probably give myself an increase as well, if I could. Can’t really blame them for exercising an option they’ve been handed on a silver platter, especially one that everyone reading this would exercise as well, given the opportunity. Take that option away from them (not to mention lower their friggin’ salaries a few dozen thousand dollars) and maybe it’ll be a little different. (Probably not, but it’s better than where we’re at now.)
Funny how the higher people get paid, the less motivated they get to earn it. Out in the REAL world (i.e. anywhere you don’t have politics and unions to protect the slackers), work ethic like theirs would get rewarded by being shown the door. But as long as the crooked world of politics and unions exist, this kind of thing will continue to happen. Be outraged if you must, but don’t act surprised. And don’t act like you wouldn’t do the same, because you would. And, likely, so would I. Take the blank checks away and they can’t very well write the checks, now can they?
We need the ability to recall all of these douchebags that aren’t getting the job done. Governors, senators, representatives, judges, sheriffs, sanitary board members, I don’t care what it is. If we have the ability to elect them, we deserve the right to remove them if they aren’t doing their friggin’ jobs to our satisfaction. And it shouldn’t have to wait until their next election and having to just hope the voters of Illinois (or Springfield or whatever the case) are smart enough not to re-elect them. (Kind of like how all the idiots inexplicably re-elected Blowj Blagojevich in 2006 after the catastrophuck he created his first four years… hmmm, what’s THAT sound like?) If they can’t get the job done, get them out and find someone else who can.
Oh, and Springfield is still the capital of Illinois, folks. I Googled it.
April 13, 2008 Posted by Johann | Springfield stuff, random thoughts, stupid people | blog comments | 2 Comments