The Madness begins this week

One of the finest yearly sports events is again upon us: the NCAA basketball tournament.

For anyone that likes watching basketball (or at least college basketball), mid-March through roughly April Fool’s Day is the season. There is the time-honored yet fiercely denied tradition of “filling out the brackets”, trying in vain to guess who the national champion will be. I say “fiercely denied” because many people who do it work in places that have “no gambling” policies. Like it can be compared to shooting craps in the back of a crack house or something. Personally, I quit filling out brackets (or at least entering pools) years ago because I discovered it was far easier and less time-consuming just to light my fiddy bucks on fire.

There is almost always some big story every year- George Mason going to the Elite 8, who will be the first #1 seed to fall (and especially, who will be the first #1 to fall in the first round), the bracket-buster teams, the Cinderella stories… hell, you can pretty well use every single sports cliché there is with regard to The Tournament. It is such an exciting two weeks.

However, as with everything, there are things I don’t like about The Tournament. For example, this whole “play-in game” they created about 4 or 5 years or so ago. It’s supposed to be 64 teams, folks. Where did that 65th team come from and how do they rate a chance? If they were that worthy of going, why didn’t you just choose them 64th? I just think it’s stupid. Pick your 64 teams and be done with it. True, there are always schools who made it that shouldn’t have, and schools that didn’t that should have, but it’s still better than the football BCS fiasco. They just need to keep it at 64 teams. Hell, why not have all 300+ D-I schools battle it out in a 12-week round robin? Draw your line and be done with it. Pretty soon, everyone’s going to be playing play-in games eventually.

Which leads me to another stupid concept: the conference tournaments. This is the dumbest idea ever, especially for the smaller conferences who only send one team (their conference’s champion) to The Tournament. I mean, let’s say Bob’s College of Underwater Lamaze nearly runs the table all season in the Southwest Rhode Island Conference, going 27-3 for the season. Then comes the conference tournament, when Central Oxnard County A&M, the 7th place team in the regular season at 12-19, suddenly hits a hot streak and wins the SRIC conference tournament. Suddenly they get to go to The Tournament and BCUL, the far more deserving team, is stuck with the NIT, if they’re “lucky”.

It’s the same with the Big Eleven this year. The Illiniweks, who have sucked balls all year, finishing the regular season under .500, are one game away from winning the conference tournament and earning the automatic bid. Now granted, I know that it’s different in the Big 11, since they send all but the bottom three teams every year anyway, but that’s not the point. U of I doesn’t deserve The Tournament this season, and I’m not even real sure they ought to get to go to the NIT. If the hoop gods are truly merciful, Wisconsin will win today and the Illiniweks will not make the dance. Sorry, U of I fans, nothing against you or the school, but their team sucked this season.

The other big issue I have is being unable to choose what games I see. Yes, I know I could subscribe to those ridiculous waste-of-money packages where I can have 65 channels earmarked, one for each game, and then give myself carpal tunnel flipping channels. No thanks. Although it would be nice to have the ability to watch one and DVR others, I’m not going to spend a shitload of money for a bunch of games, 75% or more of which are not worth watching (i.e. Duke’s 120-37 first-round victories every year). Of course, I also don’t get to see the games I want to see. We’re at the mercy of CBS for that. You’re suffering heart palpitations watching your game that is tied with :37 left in the 2nd overtime, when Jim Nantz comes on and says, “let’s take you out to Sacramento for the end of the West Regional game, where it’s North Carolina 96, Austin Peay 12″, and if you’re lucky, you’ll “get” to see the end of your nail-biter in a 2×3 square in the corner.

But oh well; I’ll watch what I can (i.e. what Mrs. Johann will allow) and be happy. As soon as The Tournament ends, it’s steroid baseball season again.