DIAGNOSIS: terminal spring fever

Yesterday was such a beautiful day in Springpatch.  Some reports say we passed 70 degrees.  That’s insane for early March.  Not impossible (obviously), but pretty rare.

And now, today, we get bitch-slapped back to reality by temperatures in the mid-30’s with rain and sleet that will change over to snow. I realize we’re in the Midwest and the weather changes constantly.  Like that Jeff Foxworthy-esque thing that has gone around the interwebs forever says:  “if you’ve ever needed suntan lotion, an umbrella, and snow boots on the same day, you might be from Illinois.”  But I don’t have to like it.

Honestly, I’d really rather have a long, crappy winter and then have it be over with.  I hate the little teaser days you get every 2-3 weeks or so where you get sunshine and hit 50-60 degrees or more, and then you get blasted with the Arctic air and precipitation again.  I’d rather just have it be “winter” all the way through and then turn nice for good in mid- to late-March.

I mean, it doesn’t usually do the opposite in the summer, does it?  When it’s 95+ with matching humidity, are we ever suddenly granted a 45-degree day to cool off?  No.  But then, for whatever reason, people would apparently rather be hot and miserable than cold and miserable.  Me, I would consider “relief” to be “relief”, no matter what the form.  But a blast of warm air when it’s cold is far more widely accepted than is a blast of cold air when it’s warm.

Take autumn.  When it drops down to 45, people are grabbing heavy coats and gloves.  4 or 5 months later, 45 is a “beautiful day”.  I don’t know; just seems odd to me that so many people would rather bake, melt, and/or wilt in scorching heat and humidity than take an occasional “cold” summer day for relief.  Yet these same people beg for days like yesterday in the middle of winter.  Makes no sense to me.

Either way, I’m sick and freakin’ tired of winter.  Whether some ridiculous yet inexplicably widely revered “prediction” of winter by some Pennsylvania rodent, the farce that is “global warming”, the government, Bush, Clinton, Bush and Clinton, blame whatever you want. Winter sucks and needs to go away.  I’ve got two pissed off kids wanting to know why they could ride their bikes yesterday but it’s cold and rainy today.

Myself, I am far better off in cooler weather than in hot weather.  My thought is, if you’re cold, you can put something on and warm up.  If you’re hot, you’re pretty well screwed.  At least until they let people walk around nekked.  {yikes}  But even I’ve had enough this winter.  Maybe it was the 12 inches of snow in one day, followed by four inches of rain 4 days later.  Maybe it was so many of the little teaser nice days like yesterday that have been sprinkled in with all the 20-30 degree days.  Whatever the case, bring on da spring.  I’ll take a month of 50 degrees and rain right now.