Guess I have to come clean now
On this blog, I have taken shots at Scientology, Hillary Clinton, Britney Spears, Barry Bonds, “integrity” in sports in general, and Amy Winehouse, just to name a few. My last post was about snobs- beer snobs, coffee snobs, car snobs- and it apparently struck a nerve. I guess it’s acceptable to ridicule celebrities, but make fun of someone’s choice of beverage, and holy shit, there’s a fight on your hands.
I do get rather uppity in some of my comments. Going back and reading some of my older posts, I think, “damn, that was kinda pissy”. But I hate stupidity. I feel stupidity needs to be pointed out and ridiculed at any and all costs. I freely admit I have gotten some of my rants turned back on me to the point I’ve eaten more than my fair share of humble crow pies, and rightfully so (sometimes). But even so, when someone points out my stupidity, I’m man enough to own up to it.
But here’s the big key, folks- some of you need to lighten up a little. You believe what you want to believe, but I purposely paint with a ridiculously broad brush here. Sometimes I do go to an extreme on things, and sometimes I do actually go too far. In society nowadays, everything is “either-or” any more. There is no multiple choice. It is or it isn’t. Some things, you can be either-or with. However, most things just aren’t that neat and tidy. You actually don’t have to choose Pepsi OR Coke. You actually don’t have to be a dope-smoking treehugger liberal OR a Nazi war monger conservative. Heaven forbid your ideologies fall somewhere in between, like mine actually do. If you’re “somewhere in the middle” or “a little of both” or “can’t decide”, then you’re accused of being unable to make a choice, or called a waffler, or just plain weak because you’re not “this” or “that”. THAT in and of itself is stupidity that must be exploited. I love pointing out hypocrisy.
And here’s the other thing- I do have strong opinions on some things, and I admit I get a little snippy sometimes. Yes, I really DO think Amy Winehouse is a no-talent crack whore. Yes, I really DO think Hillary Clinton is a whack job that, were she to be elected President, would fuck the entire country up in a heartbeat- not that Obama will be that much better, but he certainly can’t be worse (I hope). Yes, I really DO think Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens, and all their compadres that ever took HGH and/or steroids have ruined the game and it’s too bad they can’t be kept out of the Hall of Fame, especially when Pete Rose can. And yes, I DO despise uppity people that feel they are better than me because they drink faggotty Euro-trash coffee or a beer that nobody’s ever heard of that is brewed in a porta-potty in Montana. I don’t despise them for drinking it, I despise them for being uppity about drinking it. But here’s the kicker- A, I know that realistically, I’m neither right nor wrong in thinking any of those things, and B, regarding the grand majority of most things, especially anyone’s choice in beer, I really don’t care THAT much.
Look, people, it’s a role I play here. I try to provoke thought in people; I try to provoke commentary. Admittedly, I’m not very good at it… but I do purposely try to incite people. I am being 100% genuine in that I do NOT purposely set out to offend anyone- sometimes what sounds good or funny in my head comes out completely wrong. But, by the same token, people nowadays are WAY too fucking touchy. Lighten up. My views don’t correspond with most people’s views in this politically corrupt correct world that has been created, so I purposely go overboard with it most of the time. But again, I really don’t care THAT much on most things.
Were it not for my brother, our folks, a very select few that drop by now and again, and the thousands that find it by mistake, this blog would have absolutely no traffic, let alone any commentary. Nobody bothers commenting on a middle-of-the-road post, but by God, you call someone out, and they sure have something to say back. But holy crap, people- lighten up. I honestly DON’T give two shits what kind of beer you drink.
Bottom line, you’ll never fully know whether I’m telling you the truth, or whether I’m completely and accurately giving you my views on things. But that’s part of the blog experience. You as commenters are as anonymous as you choose to make yourselves- you can present yourselves in any way you wish without fear of retribution. Yet, so are we as bloggers. If you want to believe I’m some hyper-uptight self-righteous twit, knock yourself out. Maybe I am, maybe I’m not.
But it did get you to read my blog, didn’t it…
Lighten up, people. I can freely admit to all of this. Can you?
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It seems that this post is directed toward me, so let me clarify a little.
In your last post, you were employing hyperbole as a literary device, and I should have recognized that. My comment attempted to explain that though I drink crafts/imports, I’m no snob. If you have to call names, I think “beer geek” is much more appropriate.
I take beer seriously. I drink what I drink because of what’s inside the bottle, not what’s outside the bottle. Someone who drinks crafts/imports simply because they’re not American industrial beers is nothing but a phony, and phonies are worse than snobs, IMO. I guess I’m a snob in that regard.
But perhaps you, too, should lighten up. I imagine that most people who drink cappuccinos and whatnot don’t care that you don’t drink them. I’m not sure why you think they would.
No, this post is not “directed at you”, Mr. Guilty Conscience. Again, lighten up. Well, okay, maybe it was a little, but still- relax.
First of all, I don’t even know what “hyperbole” is, so if I “employed it as a literary device”, it was purely by accident, I assure you. So if it requires one, I apologize for it. That’s how dumb I am- I don’t even know if using hyperbole is a good thing or a bad thing, or neither.
What I mean about lightening up is this: that’s FINE that you take beer seriously. More power to you. I, on the other hand, do not. At least not AS seriously. All I was doing in my “beer snob” post was very sarcastically and exaggeratedly pointing out that there ARE people out there who DO think they are better than people like me that drink AB and Miller products, simply because they drink crafts. Yes, Virginia, there really are. The opposite is true as well. And the whole irony of it all was that I was purposely doing it in a way that made me look like I think I’m better than those people because I don’t.
And that’s the big paradox- people who genuinely criticize others tend to merit the most criticism themselves. I take shots at everyone here- myself included. Maybe I DO come across too self-righteous; then again, maybe that’s the point. But there’s not a soul anywhere in the world that isn’t self-righteous about something. Some are self-righteous about not being self-righteous. Everybody has some sort of bias and/or prejudice towards something or someone. Anyone that says they don’t are lying. NOTE: as with most everything, that’s still merely my opinion, but I personally believe it to be true ne’ertheless.
Jeez, it really kinda kills it when you have to spell it out.
Look, AC, I think it’s probably safe to say that you and I may never agree on anything. You and I have a long storied history of extreme differences of opinions on everything from politics to religion to pitchers intentionally throwing at hitters. But no matter who may have been “right” or “wrong” or which of us took the “higher road”, you and I both usually take our respective arguments WAY overboard.
I mean, do you really, TRULY, think I believe people that drink crafts and imports (or cappuccinos) are somehow inferior to me or that they even care if I did, or that I think they think I’m inferior to them because I don’t or that I even care if they did? If you do, you’ve severely misjudged me. Believe it or not, I know you don’t have to justify your preference of craft beers to me any more than I have to justify my general but not all-inclusive dislike of craft beers to you.
It was like when I “got bent out of shape” about that Valentine’s Day post I referenced in which the writer “lectured” men about what kinds of gifts to buy their women. I knew from the start it was her version of humor. I ran the complete opposite direction with my post in what I felt was the same manner.
I didn’t know we were supposed to be completely serious and sincere here on the internets. My bad. Have you never used sarcasm or veiled and/or pointed humor in your posts? There again, I take swipes at everyone- men, women, black, white, liberal, conservative, AB drinker, craft drinker, whatever. We’re ALL fucked up in one manner or another. I just tend to have more favorite targets than others.
I never said I was good at humor or at writing in general. That’s definitely YOUR strong suit. I just didn’t realize being called a “beer snob” was that offensive.
Beer geek.
(Again- I’m not “calling names”- it was just an obviously failed attempt at humor or irony. Sheeeeeesh!)
NOTE: I just looked up “hyperbole” on an online dictionary. Yes, that’s what I was doing in my “beer snob” post.
I think…
How’s this for snobby? One of your cousins, who shall remain nameless, had to make sure she was carrying only a socially accepted and highly regarded brand of bottled water, for cryin’ out loud! Puh-leeze!!
See, that’s the kind of ridiculous “snob” shit I’m talking about.