Actually, he IS more “accurate” than most, but still!

Today is Groundhog Day, February 2nd, or as I like to call it, Yaph (Yet Another Pointless “Holiday”) Day. Here’s the scoop, for anyone that lives under a rock, or at least hasn’t seen the Bill Murray-Andie MacDowell flick.

Every February 2nd, the world converges upon the small community of Punxsutawney, PA, to a spot called Gobbler’s Knob (I saw a movie by that name once) where people dress in late-19th-century garb, pull a giant rodent named Phil out of a fake tree stump, pretend to “talk” to it in “Groundhogese” (per the “official Punxsutawney website”), and proceed to announce what the groundhog “predicted” with regard to the weather for the rest of the winter.

I will resist the urge to take so many free shots at the whole hootenanny in and of itself and how freakin’ ridiculous the whole thing is-there’s no sport in it when they make it so easy. No, instead, my potshots will be aimed at the millions of people who actually believe it.

The legend goes that if Punxsutawney Phil sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter. If he does not see his shadow, there will be an early spring. First, do the math, folks: there are almost exactly six weeks between February 2nd and the first day of spring, which varies from March 20 to March 22nd, depending on… I don’t know, the moon phases or something. Has something to do with when the spring equinox occurs- that could have something to do with the moon, couldn’t it?! Anyway, the point is this: I don’t care whether he sees his shadow, a daffodil, a robin, Elvis, Jimmy Hoffa, or the groundhog version of Jenna Jameson. There will be six more weeks of winter regardless.

Don’t get me wrong- I really don’t have any problem with how silly and overblown the whole to-do is, nor how completely ridiculous grown men look and act with their whole “…seer of seers, prognosticator of prognosticators…” speech and especially speaking gibberish to a rodent. If you want to have your little festival, you go with your bad selves.  What I do have a problem with are the throngs of people that buy into it, believe what this overgrown rat “says”, and then are shocked and amazed every single year when it stays cold and snowy until early-to-mid-April. As it does every single year. Hmmmm- go figure. “I just don’t get it- the groundhog said we’d have an early spring.”

But, in the groundhog’s defense, considering how many times it has “predicted” six more weeks of winter by “seeing its shadow”, its weather predictions are far more accurate than those of most weathermen. Actually, I wish weathermen would just tell the truth and say something like “folks, we don’t know what it’s going to do weather-wise today” or better yet, maybe something like “You have got a window?  Open it”. Or at least admit to the fact that there is a 50-50 chance of precipitation every single day- either it will rain (or snow), or it will not. All their fancy little maps with cute graphics and expensive Doppler radars are just smoke and mirrors thinly disguising the fact that they’re just guessing.

Bottom line, people- whether you value most the opinion of the folks at the Weather Channel or Al Roker or the newspaper or Gus Gordon or even a groundhog- understand that it’s impossible to completely predict what the weather will do. Your best bet is simply to understand what time of year it is, what your regional climate is (preferably, for that particular time of year), and play the odds. If it’s winter, it’s likely going to be cold. If it’s spring, it’s likely going to be rainy. And so on.

Don’t listen to rodents.  There will be six more weeks of winter regardless of what happens (or doesn’t happen) on Gobbler’s Knob.

Hee hee hee hee hee hee… Gobbler’s Knob… that’s funny.