Objectivity is so subjective sometimes

The other day, I was watching my new favorite “game show”, called “Cash Cab”, on the Discovery Channel. It’s actually a pretty cool show. Basically, the “Cash Cab” drives around NYC picking up fares. The driver (also your charming host) announces that they’re in the Cash Cab, and they get asked a series of reasonably simple pop-culture-type questions, the right answers providing them with increasing amounts of money corresponding to the “difficulty” of the questions. Bottom line, if they get to their destination without three strikes (wrong answers), they get their ride for free and they keep the money they won, or they can do a video double-or-nothing question. If they get three strikes before they reach their destination, they are dropped off wherever they may be, but they also don’t have to pay for the fare either, so it’s really a win-win regardless.

Anyhoooz, one of the questions they had on one particular episode was to name the five greatest films of all time, as so named by the American Film Institute (AFI). They listed their top five films as Casablanca, Citizen Kane, Gone with the Wind, Lawrence of Arabia, and The Godfather. Now something like this, even when compiled by someone (AFI) who presumably is an “expert” in this area (or at least has more credibility than your average person), it’s still completely subjective in that no matter how much data is presented- box office take, widespread popularity, awards won, whatever- it’s still nothing more than one big (albeit well-respected) opinion.

My being slightly opinionated myself, I quickly disagreed with AFI’s choices. Casablanca was grossly overacted, like many in that time; Gone with the Wind, while certainly a “classic”, was just too freakin’ long; and I’ve never seen Citizen Kane or Lawrence of Arabia (nor do I have much desire to). The Godfather (the original, and the only one of the three worth seeing) was most definitely a great flick but I’m not sure it was worthy of Top 5 distinction. Therefore, I’m making my own list of 5 movies- not necessarily my picks for the “Top 5 of All Time”- that I feel rank above most of, if not all of, AFI’s choices. In no particular order…

The Shawshank Redemption (1994): I literally cannot count the number of times I have watched this movie. It’s taken from a Stephen King story (”Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption”) about a banker (Andy Dufresne, played wonderfully by Tim Robbins, whom I normally don’t care for) who is wrongly convicted of killing his adulterous wife and her lover and sent to Maine’s Shawshank Prison, where he ultimately finds a way to escape and to expose the money laundering corruption, run by the warden, for which Andy himself runs the books. “I had to go to prison to become a crook”, Andy tells Red (Morgan Freeman, who also narrates the story throughout) while explaining how the laundering scam works. The characters and the actors that play them are outstanding. Most are character actors whose names most people probably don’t know but whose faces they would recognize instantly, due to their “popping up” in every other movie made, it seems. While not a character actor by any stretch of reality, the best is, of course, Morgan Freeman. He is, in my opinion, one of the greatest actors ever. There hasn’t been a bad Morgan Freeman movie yet- that I have seen, anyway. If there is, I really doubt it’s his fault. I also love the surprising number of quotable lines that come from this film (”… you’ll think you’ve been fucked by a train”; “what is your malfunction, you fat barrel of monkey spunk”; nice family friendly lines like that), considering it isn’t a stupid Will Ferrell movie.

“Stupid Will Ferrell movie”… that seems rather redundant. Moving on…

Young Frankenstein (1974): Another movie I have seen way too many times to count. A lot of people don’t like Mel Brooks’ movies because they recycle the same jokes, they’re corny and formulaic, and what not, but considering today’s “funniest” (and I use that term extremely loosely… that’s you, Will Ferrell, Adam Sandler, Jerry Stiller, Jack Black, Owen Wilson…) actors’ movies recycle the same jokes, are corny and formulaic, and what not, I don’t see how Mel Brooks can be considered anything other than brilliant. Young Frankenstein is a very amusing re-telling of Mary Shelley’s classic novel about a scientist attempting to reanimate a dead body. Being a Mel Brooks movie, it’s naturally infused with vaudeville-esque silliness and gut-wrenchingly bad but still hilarious jokes, puns, and visual gags. Gene Wilder is the scientist Dr. Frederick Frrankenstein (”it’s pronounced Frahnk-en-steen!”), Marty Feldman is wonderful as Igor, Cloris Leachman is terrific as Frau Blücher, Teri Garr is the lab assistant/sex kitten, and the late great Madeline Kahn is, as usual, on her neurotic-character game as Dr. Frankenstein’s fiancée. The quotables from this movie are innumerable, and this is one of the classic comedies of at least the last 40 years. Look closely for Gene Hackman…

12 Angry Men (1957): As a rule, I don’t usually care for movies that were made before about 1960 or so, because I think they are so cheesy and overacted (”I’m in turmoil!!”). I was at Blockbuster one night about 15 years ago and saw this on the shelves. I tend to like courtroom dramas, so I thought, what the hey, let’s give it a whirl. Am I ever glad I did. It’s an intense story about 12 men on a jury in a murder trial that seems fairly cut and dry, but one lone juror (Henry Fonda) is not convinced the defendant is guilty and refuses to betray his ideals and send a potentially innocent man to prison. He then sets out in an attempt to try to convince the 11 other jurors that the defendant just may be innocent. This is an amazing character study with an amazing cast, including Fonda, Lee J. Cobb, Jack Warden, E.G. Marshall, Jack Klugman, Ed Begley (Sr., obviously), and Martin Balsam. It was also, incidentally, the debut of John Fiedler, probably best known as the voice of Piglet in the original (i.e., best) Winnie the Pooh feature films. While not outwardly profane or offensive, it might not be a movie for the Politically Corrupt Correct™, based on how the defendant is an 18-year-old Puerto Rican, and how one of the jurors is at least partially driven by bigotry. But considering the time it was made, people must understand that racism and discrimination were different than they are today, while being the same at the same time. That’s all I’ll say about that; just open your mind and look for it on video or on TV.

Fantasia (1940): This is definitely an odd choice for a potential Top 5 movie, but I consider it at least in the running because I credit it as the catalyst for my HUGE love of music as it exists today. I went to see this movie when I was probably around 5 or so and I was simply captivated. First off, something I obviously did not recognize 35 years ago but certainly appreciate today, Walt Disney was a pioneer in filmmaking, not just in animation. The techniques used to make this movie nearly 70 years ago broke the ground for what eventually evolved into digital film, 16-, 32-, and 64-track recording, and CGI. Using symphonic sounds that seamlessly interacted with animation was a major cinematic achievement, and Walt and his staff were the masters. Fantasia consists of several animated sequences set to classical masterpieces, such as Tchaikovsky’s “The Nutcracker Suite”, Bach’s “Toccata and Fugue”, and Schubert’s “Ave Maria”. Hippos and ostriches as ballerinas and skaters highlight some of the animated characters. The segment about how sound waves work was spellbinding for a young child, but the penultimate HAS to be the “Sorcerer’s Apprentice” segment, starring Mickey Mouse as, go figure, a sorcerer’s apprentice who quickly gets himself into trouble when he dons his master’s magical hat. All those brooms!! When you’re 5 years old, and Dukas’ intense melody is piping through your skull, watching everything unfold scares the hell out of you. As mentioned above, though, with me, I became completely enamored with music, and “The Sorcerer’s Apprentice” and the Sorcerer Mickey character remain two of my ultimate favorites to this day. (Anyone know the name of the sorcerer and what the name represents?)

I know that’s only four, but it’s hard to limit myself to five really, really great films. There are so many that are good for so many [infinitely different] reasons. Several I could at least give Honorable Mention to are:

• The Godfather- certainly a classic and a masterpiece
• Jaws- the shark’s “theme music” is enough in and of itself to put this movie at the top of any top-movies list.
• Blazing Saddles- another of Mel Brooks’ classic movies with neverending quotes and acting performances that are really good and really bad at the same time.
• GoodFellas- some consider it a very violent two-hour-long giant F-word, and perhaps it is, but Ray Liotta, Joe Pesci, and Robert DeNiro are brilliant.
• The Big Lebowski- my brother turned me on to this movie, and I’m glad he did. I can’t even begin to describe it; just watch it.
• This is Spinal Tap- people either love it or they “don’t get it”. It’s friggin’ hilarious, and I bet I know every single word of dialogue.
• Dirty Harry- it’s Clint Eastwood… come on!

Anyway, those are some of my thoughts on movies. I’m sure the four of you reading this have quite differing opinions…

Oh, and my apologies to Nick at Unpainted Huffhines; I do not claim writing reviews as a strong suit.