Guess I’m somebody now

Good Saturday to all four of you that read this blog. I’m coming to you live from the beautiful Westport Sheraton Chalet hotel in St. Louis. Well, I think we may actually be in Maryland Heights (an old stomping ground of mine from the younger days), but it’s St. Louis enough.

Kind of like being in Anaheim or Beverly Hills–it’s all Los Angeles.

Anyway, I’m here because Mrs. Johann’s company is having their yearly management appreciation weekend here, which is essentially a free two-day long drunk very thinly disguised as a (best Dr. Evil voice here) “business seminar… riiiiiiight”, since today the managers are meeting with drug reps and attending a couple meetings, all the while being fed free food.

I’m basically along for the ride as Mrs. Johann’s trophy wife. Not that I’m a trophy by ANY stretch of the imagination (and those of you that know me, people will get the idea without your comments, thank you very much), but we wives basically sit there and look pretty while the managers harumph and pat each other on the back, and then tonight, we’re all going to get dolled up and get our White People Freak™ on on the dance floor. It’s really quite the display, at least from a sociological standpoint. And by “quite the display”, I mean “sad”. It’s comical watching a bunch of middle-aged-and-up white people try to Cha Cha Slide and to dance to such kooky hits as “Hot in Herre”. Two years ago, one woman threw out a hip when they played L’il Kim. But I partake in said WPF™ myself, so I am guilty of adding to the carnage as well.

Anyway, the company treats us wives very well. We get free breffast (I had four plates full), and they have different activities for us to do. I think this year’s are scrapbooking, a winery tour, and a golf outing. I suck at golf (go figure), I’m not the scrapbooking type, and I don’t drink wine, so here I am. Basically I’m studying my Spanish (”riiiiiiiiiiight…”) but I decided to take a quick break and come to the lobby and take advantage of the free Wi-Fi and drop a quick blog before I go back to estudiar-ing. In years past, some of the wives’ activities have been a tour of the Central West End (a bit too “eclectic” for me but it was a free lunch), a trip to the Missouri Botanical Gardens (I’ve always enjoyed going there, and it was misting very lightly that particular day, which, strangely, made the trip awesome for me), and a tour of the AB brewery (guess where I went THAT year).

But the damnedest thing just happened. I’m sitting here in the lobby typing to you, my four loyal readers, when some chiquita comes up to me, calls me by name (MY name, no less), and says that there was an extra lunch in the scrapbooking room and asked if I wanted it. So I says “sure”. So then she leaves and returns about 4 minutes later with a quite delicious-looking chicken club samble-wich and a… carbonated cola beverage that comes in red cans and rhymes with Broke-a-Brola. (Don’t want to run into any copyright issues…)

Does this happen to people often?

Some woman, who I’m guessing works for Mrs. Johann’s company since I’m pretty sure I saw her at dinner last night, sees me in the lobby, calls me by name, and brings me lunch.

I don’t get half that treatment that at my office.

I am a nobody around here and I know about 7 people here-as well as you can know someone you see once a year-and I’ve got my wife’s corporate thingamajigs bringing me lunch.

I could get used to this.

Well, it’s almost one o’clock… have to get to my massage. TTFN, dahlings!