R.I.P. Michael Jackson 1958-2009

What in the HELL is going on?!  I know it “goes in threes”, but I can’t recall the last time we lost three celebrities (especially three very, VERY big names like these) this closely to one another.

Back when he was still reasonably respectable

R.I.P. Farrah Fawcett 1947-2009

How I'll always remember Farrah Fawcett

R.I.P. Ed McMahon 1923-2009

Carson sidekick Ed McMahon

Since nobody reads this anymore…

From the Weird Irony department:  Dan from BFS reappeared out of nowhere on the Facebooks a week or so ago with a status message that stated something along the lines of “Blogs are so 2007.  Nobody reads blogs anymore.”

I commented back, “That’s because nobody writes blogs anymore.”

And then Dan has seemingly disappeared again.

He is kinda right, though…nobody seems to read blogs anymore (even though that has something to do with nobody actually blogging anymore… hence the paradox), so taking that into account, I think I’ll let a couple things off my chest, since none of you will actually read it.

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Had dinner at B-Dubs last week.  They were sampling a new Leinenkugels variety called Summer Shandy.  It was a lemon flavored pale wheat ale that actually wasn’t too bad.  I’m not a big fan of most Leinie flavors- the Sunset Wheat especially (it tastes like Fruity Pebbles doused in beer and left in the sun for three months)- but the Summer Shandy was actually pretty good.  Plus I got a t-shirt for buying one.  Yay.

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A big deal has been made in the media and on the Facebooks recently about the TLC show “Jon & Kate Plus 8″, the show that exploits the exploits of a couple with twins and sextuplets.  The buzz has been about “will they or won’t they divorce”, since each has allegedly been screwing around on the other.  Now everyone seems to be blaming the husband for ruining their lives.  First of all, if he DID have an affair with…whomever it was… I’m not condoning it by any means, but I can certainly sympathize.  True, he’s kind of a wimp, but folks, she’s a bitch.  Not just a bitch, a super hardcore psycho bitch.  Plus, it’s been reported that she’s been getting boned by one of her bodyguards for a while now.  Please explain to me, all you “it’s all his fault” shouters on the Facebooks, why his alleged affair is completely true, but her alleged affair is total bullshit?  Bottom line here is, who really gives a shit?  Maybe they have “that type” of marriage.  Or maybe it’s all just a big media frenzy for more publicity.  Those two are nothing but publicity pimps with their kids being their whores.  Therapy, party of 8… Therapy, party of 8.  And why is it nobody cared about how the show exploits the children until now, when the marriage appears to be in trouble?  Give me a break.  The Gosselins need to just disappear and learn how to be parents instead of TV stars with a bunch of child co-stars to whom they just happen to be related.

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On the local front, the Johann family went to the Carillon Festival last Friday evening.  We try to go at least once every year, as it is nice and relaxing, even dealing with obnoxious kids playing baseball at dusk in a crowd of people, among other things.  Friday also happened to be the night of the fireworks display.  Once again, the fireworks kicked ASS.  They were incredible.  They beat the holy living shit out of last year’s downtown July 4th “fireworks display” (and I use THAT term extremely loosely), with those lame “low ceiling” fireworks or whatever they were, that were designed to explode closer to the ground.  Only problem was that that meant half the viewers couldn’t see them because of the trees and buildings and what not.  Yes, I was aware that the “optimum viewing spot” was Capitol Avenue at Second Street, but it was a cluster down there at 7:45 when we arrived, let alone 9:30-ish once they started shooting them off.  We were on the Capitol lawn and could not see a damn thing.  A lot of people around us were not very pleased either.

Yes, I know, it’s a free show, blah blah blah, but you know what?  The fireworks at the Carillon Festival was free as well, and it was awesome.  If anyone from Downtown Springfield Inc. should just happen to be reading this, or if anyone reading this knows anyone from DSI, consider yourself challenged.  The fireworks at the Carillon Festival have seriously kicked the ass of those at the 4th of July Celebration downtown for at least three years now.  I’m challenging you to change that.

Well, I think that’s enough for now.  I’ve been trying to be less pissy about things, which has basically translated into not posting anything for a while, out of the “if you can’t say anything nice…” rationale.  But there were a couple things I felt needed said.  So there you go.

In search of…

Dan from Blog Free Springfield.

There was an article written by Dan in today’s SJ-R, but he has, sadly, not posted to his blog since early this month.  He’s even disappeared off of the Facebooks.  I’m a tad concerned… I’m going into withdrawal from not being able to fail his mini-trivia contests.

Come to think of it, there sure seems to be a lot of once regularly posting Springfield-area bloggists that have kinda fallen off the face of the blogosphere lately [of those I routinely follow, anyway].  Is it the weather?  Has the Facebooks devastated the Springfield blog realm?  Have you all been abducted by aliens?  Is there just that little about which to write anymore?

Is this thing on?

Guess it falls to me to turn off the lights and lock up.  >sigh<

Three-word concert review

Billy Joel and Elton John at the Kiel (or Saavis or Scottrade or whatever) Center in St. Louis last night:

Out. Stand. Ing.

Dan the Man

Other than the sports section, the comics, and the writings of a small handful of SJ-R journalists, I usually only sort of skim the newspaper.  Make no mistake- I feel the internet, television, and other technological, instant-gratification sources for news will never be as good as holding a newspaper in one’s hand.  I get an uneasy sick feeling when I read about newspapers shutting down their circulation forever (R.I.P. Rocky Mountain News, for example).

That said, unless something really catches my eye, I don’t typically “read” the newspaper that much, because there is only so much doom and gloom I can take.

However, I do look forward to the SJ-R’s Friday edition, so I can turn to the Heartland section and read Jeff Vrabel’s nationally syndicated column.  He’s one of those guys that write about basic, everyday, sometimes mundane things, but turns it into several minutes of very entertaining reading.  His columns have covered things ranging from Laser Tag to his son’s t-ball games to Twitter, something he’s mentioned every week for about a month now.  I’ve even gone so far as to follow him on Twitter because, as I’ve discovered, his random thought process, day-to-day observations, and happenings in his life are rather comical.

On the other other hand, I look even more forward to Sunday’s edition- every 2-3 weeks-ish- because a similar local writer has an even more enjoyable column published.  I’m speaking, of course, of Dan of BlogFreeSpringfield.  I’ve met Dan and spoken with him a few times, at the wildly successful (meaning that it actually occurred) SpfldBloggers Night at a Sliders game, as well as at the Silly Joel concert at the Pizza Machine.

Hey, since I’m shamelessly promoting people, may as well hit as many people as I can, right?

Dan is a great guy- very unassuming, very down-to-earth.  He’s got a beautiful family- both Dan and his wife were kind (charitable?) enough to publicly proclaim me as their Facebook friend- he’s a pretty funny guy, and regardless of some measure of public opinion, looks nothing like Steve Buscemi.  Anyway, Dan’s columns appear with some degree of regularity in Sunday’s paper- whenever Julie Kaiser is busy, I guess- and like Jeff Vrabel’s columns, make normal people’s thought processes into very comical and entertaining (but far too infrequent) columns.  Yesterday’s column about his youngest son’s cuteness factor was great, even if it was something only a parent could fully appreciate.  (I don’t actually think “only” parents could appreciate it, I’m just sayin’.)  Those four of you that are reading this post, do yourself a favor and read his article and/or check out his blog.  It’s worth the time, I assure you.

I don’t know enough about the journalism world to know whether this is going to be received as a flattering or unflattering comparison, but I mean it completely positively.  They may be completely different writers, but both writers’ columns give the same result:  a smile after reading a newspaper full of depressing, blood pressure-spiking articles.

Dan did not ask for my endorsement, nor does he need the support, and considering I only get about 7 hits a month here, won’t really receive much of either from this post anyway, but I have wanted something with which to knock the dust off of this blog for a while now and, after re-reading yesterday’s column, I figured a much-deserved shout-out for a great local writer would be a good way to go.  Even if nobody actually reads it.  If I had a fraction of Dan’s writing ability, I wouldn’t need to fall back on the pissed off, snarky, insulting style to which I usually have to resort, and this blog might actually have some regular readership.  Besides my mother, I mean.  She pretty much feels she has to, the poor woman.  What a great mom!

Keep up the great work, Dan.  I look forward to seeing your name and picture on that Sunday AM section front page every week.

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UPDATE 8:00am 5-6-2009: Just discovered that the above mentioned column about his son’s cuteness factor was Dan’s first to be syndicated.  Congratulations Dan!

Sign of the Apocalypse #42B.14.5C

I just returned home from taking my uncle to the airport in St. Louis without encountering a single bit of road construction.  In my 41+ years I don’t think that’s EVER happened.

Weird.

A trivial point from a trivia night

I’m a fairly competitive person.  I don’t like to lose.  I’m not sure anyone does, but I don’t like to lose.  Only thing with me is, A, I don’t resort to shady/underhanded/illegal tactics (I still believe in sportsmanship), and 2, I do realize that no matter how bad it “hurts” me to lose, it’s just a friggin’ game, and I get over it.  Usually…

But here’s the thing.  I hate losing due to other people’s ignorance.

Last night, the Mrs. and I attended a trivia night that benefited a certain private school in town (more on that later), along with my sister and her husband, my parents, my brother and his wife, my best friend, and my sister’s husband’s brother.  The key to trivia nights, in my experience, is not necessarily to stack your team with really, really smart people, but to stack it with people from all different areas of expertise.  To me, the more broad the knowledge base of your team, the better shot you have.  But that’s just me.  I’ve been known to be wrong before.  However, I’ve never NOT placed in the money at a trivia night either.  Until last night.

ANY-hooze, the rules, as they were spelled out and announced, stated that IF a question requires a specific answer, then it will be indicated for that question.  And of course, the whole “the judges’ decision is final; no arguing will be tolerated” crap, which gets the judges off the hook.  One of the questions in the “Animal House” category (which, as it turned out, had nothing to do with the classic John Belushi movie from 1978) was:

Alice Cooper usually performed with this draped around his neck.

Note that while that may not be the exact wording of the question, there was absolutely no mention that a specific answer was required.  So we wrote down “snake”.  Turns out, the answer [they wanted] was “boa constrictor”, which is a species of snake, last time I checked.  Again, there was NO mention that a specific answer was sought, but we still didn’t get credit for that answer.

Personally, I’m pretty sure Alice Cooper’s snakes were pythons, not boa constrictors, but I suppose that’s splitting hairs at this point.

Anyway, we ended up missing being able to play for the third-place tiebreaker question by one point.  One stinkin’ point.  Needless to say, we were pissed.  (Also needless to say, we got over it, but still.)  Now before you go screaming “sour grapes” and “sore loser” and what not, understand that I understand that that one question did not truthfully make or break our chances of placing in the money.  There were several questions that we missed either due to not knowing a last name (I will never again forget the winner of Survivor: Outback was Tina WESSON- I knew the first name, but we didn’t get credit for “Tina”), having two or three choices and picking the wrong one, just flat out not knowing the answer and being out of Mulligans, or whatever, but with such a egregious error in judging standing out in our heads, it makes for an easy scapegoat as to why my streak of never NOT winning something is now over.

Bottom line, though, it was still a blast.  My sister won the heads or tails competition ($80-something bucks!), my buddy won the fitty-fitty drawing ($138), and we had a lot of fun, as always.  I’m honestly surprised our table didn’t get disqualified for being so rowdy, though.  Let’s put it this way, there was a question asked that went something like, “what are little beavers called?”

Insert your own punchline here.

We did last night- several of them.  In a Catholic church.  I was just waiting for the lightning to come busting through.  That’s pretty much how the night went with us- we are a family of wise-asses and most of us know two volumes: really, really loud and asleep.  But we really did have a lot of fun and they raised some pretty good money for the school.

BUT…

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I know of at least a few of you that have stopped by here- whether on purpose or by taking a wrong toin off the information superhighway- have participated in trivia nights.  So I have to pose this question.

Last night, the… let’s just call him the “head of the house”… got up to the microphone and said something along the lines of “anyone wishing to give their winnings back to the church is encouraged to do so”.  I’ve been to other trivia nights at which the guy on the PA will announce the winners and say something similar, like the one I attended at which a table of doctors won, and the PA dude says, “given your salaries, the prize money we’re giving is probably an insult, huh”, basically implying since it’s not going to increase their bankrolls in the least, they should just give the money back to the house.

Now, here’s my dilemma.

I understand that the grand majority of trivia nights are fundraisers, be it for a charity, a benefit for someone’s medical expenses, raising money for some organization (like a church, in this case), or whatever.  I have no problem with that concept.  Most that I’ve ever been to have been $10 a person, and I consider that a very, VERY reasonable cost for what has always been a great night of fun.

However, I do take issue with the organizers offering prizes and then expecting the winners to give the prize back, especially when they attempt to guilt said winners into doing so by putting them on the spot in front of everyone like that.  To me, if you’re going to offer prizes for the winners, they should be able to keep it without being publicly punked out, essentially.  If they choose to return the money, that’s fine and dandy; that’s their choice.

But even then, since most places give prizes for first, second, and third place, when one team gives their winnings back, that pretty much makes the other winners almost obligated to do so, lest they be singled out for not doing so.  If you want the money back that badly, then just don’t offer prizes in the first place and don’t make a pretense that there are prizes to be won.  You will still get the attendees; as I said, $10 is a paltry price to pay, even for a night of “just for fun”.  I’d pay that, even knowing there were no prizes to be won- as long as it’s stated up front.

A trivia night I attended a couple years ago, my team won 3rd place.  When the 2nd and 1st place winners were announced, they gave their winnings back when they “collected” it.  Again, that’s fine and dandy, as that was their choice.  But suddenly, all eyes were upon us to give ours back.  I didn’t think we should be expected to, and thus, we didn’t.  I didn’t feel badly about it, since we won the money and it was, at least presumably, ours to keep, which we did.  As I said, I’d still attend a trivia night that costs $10 (or reasonably more than that, even) knowing there was nothing to be won and that it was all “in fun”, as long as there was no pretense about it.  I’m a trivia buff (i.e. I possess a ton of useless information, an ironically useful trait to possess at a trivia night) and I always have fun- believe it or not, regardless of whether I “win” or not, I always have fun.

If attempts at guilt trips and public humiliation are how people get donations nowadays, that’s pretty pathetic. So I ask those that have attended trivia nights- what are your thoughts on that?  Is it okay for the event organizers to ask for (or at least expect) the prize money they offer to be given back, or should they just let the winners keep it, and the event accepts the money they raised outside of that?

That let-down time of year

I hate this time of year.

Not because it’s cold– though I hate that.  Not because it snows, though I hate that too.

It’s because there are NO sports to watch.

Basically, the time span between Super Bowl Sunday and baseball’s Opening Day is a vast barren icy wasteland of nothing but crap for sports.  What is there- hockey?!  You’ve got to be kidding me.  That’s not a sport, it’s Canadians and guys from assorted former Eastern-bloc countries and/or Soviet republics with weapons on ice that skate a little between fights.  Worse than that, hockey is soccer on ice.  And soccer sucks.  Take that, hockey fans.  BURN!

What else do we have- the NBA?  The NBA has sucked ass since Michael, Magic, and Larry retired (meaning Michael’s first retirement, naturally).  NBA players don’t even like the NBA.  No explanation is really necessary.

What’s really bad is that I can’t even get excited about college basketball anymore.  There was a time not very long ago that I’d watch any college basketball game that was on the Worldwide Leader™ or any other network.  Big 10, Big East, ACC, Big Sky, Missouri Valley, didn’t matter.  If it was a college hoops game, I watched it.  Now, I just can’t really bring myself to care that much.  Matter of fact, the last three years, I have not even watched a single minute of the NCAA tournament.  I just can’t get “into” it anymore, for some reason.  Who has won the titles?  Don’t tell me, Duke, North Carolina, and/or UConn, right?  See?  It’s as bad as the pros- the same 3-4 teams win the championships every year.  In the NBA, it’s the Lakers and Spurs.  That’s BORING.

So, I have no choice but to sit and wait another two months until the First Pitches are thrown, so I can have some sports back in my life again.  That or order ESPN Classic and watch the ‘75 World Series ad nauseum- considering the “sports” that are going on right now, that sounds like a great alternative.

59-0… TWICE!

By a vote of 59-0, Rod R. Blowjobovich is no longer the governor of Illinois.

And, by a second vote of 59-0, Rod R. Blowjobovich has been banned from EVER holding public office in the state of Illinois.

There IS justice left in this world.

To the citizens of Illinois, hold your heads up.  This is the best thing that could or will come out of this mess.

To our piece-of-shit soon-to-be-found-guilty ex-Governor (MAN, I love the sound of that), go fuck yourself.  I hope you enjoy prison, you sanctimonious son of a bitch.

Can’t stand it anymore…

Okay, under the principle of “if you can’t say something nice…”, I haven’t really posted much lately.  It’s not that I’ve turned over a new leaf, it’s not that I made any resolution to be less snarky, it’s just that between Blowjobovich’s exploits and Obamapalooza, I would wind up sounding even worse to most of you than normal, even worse than when I so harshly and heinously attacked Walmart last year.

SIDE NOTE:  I’m getting L’il Johann #2- who is the ripe age of 3, mind you- dressed the other morning.  Out of the blue, he says, “Daddy, I’ve got to tell you something.”  I said, “what’s that?”  He says, “Walmart sucks”.  Nearly brought a tear to my eye.

Anyway, I’ve decided I can hold my forked tongue no longer and need to spout off on a couple things.

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Obama inauguration:  I was happy to see January 20th come along, if for no other reason than to shut up all the GWB haters out there.  Holy crap, folks, we get it- you hate President Bush.  Your guy won, we get to start holding hands and sing Kumbayah, get over it.  I am in agreement that Bush far outstayed his time, but for heaven’s sake, people, enough already.

Still, though I didn’t vote for him, I’m glad he won over McCain.  I just feel that the public and especially the media fellating him for so long has put extremely high expectations upon him that may wind up harming him in the long run.  People call him the next Lincoln, the next Kennedy, the next Dr. King, the next Jesus.  Folks, he’s just a man.  He will make mistakes.  He will have missteps.  How he rebounds from them will define what kind of President he is.  Everybody thought Clinton was going to save the world and look what a douchebag he turned out to be.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m extremely proud of America for electing a black man President and I have high hopes for his success.  I just fear he’s not going to be able to possibly live up to all of his hype, and that is unfair to him.  I want to see that smug little bastard Jon Stewart rip Obama apart on The Daily Show the first time he screws something up, like he did every time Bush did something.  But he won’t.  Can’t say anything negative about Messiah Obama, lest ye be a racist.

I am hopeful for the future with Obama as our president.  I sure as hell wouldn’t want to be him.  Or he, if that’s grammatically correct.  Sorry, Mom.

One thing regarding the inauguration itself- Aretha Franklin, one of the greatest singers in history, about made me choke on my barley-hops beverage when she sang.  Did you hear what I did?  “My coun-…. [WAY too long of a pause]… -try, ’tis of thee…”  I was like, WHAT did she say?!  The Queen o’ Soul needed to do a little better job of breaking up her syllables.   That really was the only remotely negative thing I can say about Tuesday’s events- those that I saw.  I got caught up on my extremely clogged DVR after the ceremony, but I checked in on it between shows.

A huge, HUGE nod to Jayette Bolinski and Bernard Schoenburg of the SJ-R for their coverage, by the way.

And on an inauguration-related note…

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Milton says students skipping school to watch inauguration will be charged with unexcused absences:  Why shouldn’t they be?  Last time I checked, “watching television” was not an acceptable reason to miss school.  In my day, I had to be bleeding out my eyes AND barfing up a lung to be even given the option to stay home from school, but that’s another issue.  Considering pretty much every school- if not every classroom- was able to watch at least the ceremony itself, if not all the excessive garbage before and afterward, AND considering that pretty much every home in America has either a VCR or DVR or both anymore, AND that there is YouTube and countless other places where one can watch it on the interwebs at their leisure ad nauseum, there is no reason any student should have had to miss school to see it.  Plus, you’re not going to convince me that even half of those kids that stayed home to [insert air quotes here] watch the inauguration actually did so.  Even if every one of them did, though, that’s not the point.

But, as is the case in this friggin’ society of ours, some damn idiot will sue the school district and win because their little angel was charged with an unexcused absence for violating school policy.  I get it:  it was a milestone historic event in this country’s history, but again- next time, tape it, DVR it, YouTube it, or better yet, go to school and watch it like the rest of your classmates did.  If McCain had won, should kids have been allowed to skip school to watch his inauguration?  If you say yes, you’re still wrong.  If you say no but think it was okay to skip for Obama’s inauguration, then you’re a hypocrite.  Should kids have been allowed to miss school to watch either of GWB’s inaugurations?  Or Clinton’s?  Or GHWB’s?  Either of Reagan’s?  Carter’s?  Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.  Again, January 20th was truly a historic event, as was last Election Day itself, but bottom line is that the kids that cut school to watch it should be given an unexcused absence.  How can the school district reward those who broke policy to do something they were allowed to do at school, AND more than likely had the ability to do at their leisure at home afterward?  Again, get over yourselves.

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Blowjobovich calls Senate Trial a ’sham’:  Shocker.  A politician caught doing something illegal feels like everyone’s out to get him.  Why is that?  Could it be, they are?  And that you deserve it, you toupee-wearing-a-toupee-wearing piece of shit?  Look, you douchebag, you have no concept of nor concern for the “best interests of the people of Illinois”.  Enough with the bullshit nobility and “poor little me” act.  You have cost this state so much money and cost so many hard-working people their jobs, all for your personal agenda and monetary gain, that you couldn’t possibly even begin to know where our “best interests” lie, you prick.

If you did have any knowledge of or concern for our “best interests”, you would have resigned on December 15th.  I know you’re guilty, you know you’re guilty, the people of Illinois know you’re guilty, your lieutenant knows you’re guilty, the House knows you’re guilty, the Senate will soon say they know you’re guilty, and the FBI will soon prove you’re guilty.  Are you really that arrogant AND stupid?  Oh… I guess you are.  Cocksucker.  Have fun in prison- I hope that… wife… of yours doesn’t get jealous when you get remarried inside.  Just tell her that what happens in prison stays in prison.

Truth of the matter, though, his greasy, equally douchebag lawyer will likely O.J. him and get him off.  As O.J. proved, just because one is acquitted doesn’t make him innocent, no different than just because one is convicted doesn’t necessarily make him guilty.  As one innocent man goes to jail, so does a guilty man go free.  Oh, bite me- O.J. did it and you know it.  Only reason he was acquitted was because the prostitution did a shitty job of trying to prove their case.  At least SOMEONE finally got him for something.  That should be Las Vegas’ new tourism slogan:  “Vegas- WE NAILED O.J.!”

If it were one of us loser commoners in Blowjobovich’s situation, we’d have gotten stuck with some sleazy public defender, or at best, some sleazy trial lawyer from some moderately successful firm.  What’s that you say?  We could have high-priced lawyers too if we could afford it?  Well, that’s my whole point.  Money buys innocence, my friends.  I am hopeful as anything that Blowjobovich will be forcibly (if not violently) removed from office, and that he will be sent to prison to become Ryan’s bitch.  However, I’m not losing sight of the fact that he could well get off since A, he is a crooked politician*, and 2, he is represented by a crooked lawyer*.  (*”Crooked politician” and “crooked lawyer” brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department.)  Money and corruption bought Blowjobovich two terms as governor; they may well buy him a “not guilty” verdict.

One last- and at least comparably tame- thing, for now…

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White Oaks Mall loses two more stores:  Linens & Things- gone.  Aladdin’s Castle- gone.  Pease’s Candy- gone.  World Bazaar- gone.  Eddie Bauer- gone.  Pass Pets- gone (Na na na na, na na na na…).  White Oaks Cinema- gone.  Borders Express book store- going.  I can’t even remember the other store that just recently announced they were leaving the mall.  What does it say that we can’t even keep a friggin’ McDonald’s in the mall?!  Do we even still have a food court?!

One store leaves but nothing replaces it, and on the off chance something does move in, it’s out again 6-8 months later.  Stores that are in there now just keep moving up to larger spaces every time someone else moves out; once they’re in as big a space as they can get without Sears, Famous, or Bergner’s leaving (give THAT time, too), they just vacate the mall themselves.  That’s all provided they can afford to pay the rent for that long in the first place.  Good Lord, folks- there is a calendar STORE in the mall now.  Not a kiosk, a calendar STORE.  Is there that great a need for calendars that there needs to be an entire calendar store?  Really?!  We have to give kiosks entire store spaces just to try to make the mall look fuller.  That’s friggin’ sad.

I am officially starting a pool to guess the date that White Oaks becomes a Park ‘n Ride.  $5 per entry; pick any date between tomorrow and five years from tomorrow.  That’s about all the longer the mall is going to last.

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Man, I feel better.

T minus 10h 15m and a few s

2008 is just about in the books.  Thank [real, assumed, or totally fabricated deity of your choice].

2008 was really a pretty shit year for Johann.  I turned 40 in January and it all pretty much went to hell after that.  Lost my grandmother, lost my dog, had pneumonia for almost a month… I think you get the idea.

Anyway, I look forward to 2009, if for no other reason than because it means 2008 is over.  I wish all 7 of my loyal readers (and the other 11 of you that found this site by accident while Googling “Walmart” or “Springfield Sliders” or “irrational rants”) the very best of health, happiness, and good fortune (and not necessarily the monetary kind) in the new year.

Happy New Year, my friends.

And I will resolve try to devote a little more time to writing the completely inane and whacked-out ramblings you all know and loathe.  I am losing the battle to suppress a rant about our piece-of-quail-shit arrogant douchebag guilty* prick of a governor.

* = yeah, I know, but “innocent until proven guilty” is something the courts owe him, not me.  Even if by some miracle he IS innocent- and I mean truly innocent, not acquitted by way of his lawyer O.J.’ing him- I am under no obligation to give him the benefit of ANY doubt.  He did it, he knows it, I know it, and all of you know it.

Same as O.J.

Merry Christmas to all

Be safe.

I want you all back to read and berate my posts for a long time to come.

Happy Holidays from the Governor

Received via email today; had to post it.